Fieryboots

Mexican Marketplace

2011-05-05T10:17:00.000-04:00

The first graders at R's school held a Mexican Marketplace today, in honor of Cinco de Mayo. All the parents were invited. R was so excited about it. He mentioned something beforehand about being a cashier and being worried about the stress that goes along with that. :-)

It was so cute. As I walked in, I was handed five paper pesos. There were three big tables - one "selling" God's eyes, one selling bark paintings, and one selling paper flowers - all of which the first graders had made.

R was manning the bark paintings table when I arrived (I heard him yell, "Hi, Mama!!!" and saw him waving and smiling at me). I bought one of his bark paintings for 3 pesos. Then, he told me to go buy a God's eye. So, I bought one from one of R's best friends. (Then, I had to go replenish my pesos.) I bought a paper flower from another of R's friends.

R's teacher then assembled the parents in one area and the kids all lined up to sing two songs in Spanish. (There are about 60 first graders - my camera only caught a few of them, obviously.)

Afterwards, I got a few more pesos, and R ran around to the different tables so that I could buy one of everything again from him. We found his other bark painting, so I bought that, too.

Everyone was so excited. The kids were thrilled to be in charge of the "money" and to sell their wares. They were all wearing colorful vests they had made in class.

A fun start to a happy Cinco de Mayo! And, R is going to teach me how to make a God's eye when he gets home today. I never learned that growing up - weird!

I am not raising a procrastinator

2011-04-14T14:35:00.002-04:00

Last night, R started making a pile of his belongings on the coffee table. This is nothing new -- he makes piles of his stuff all over our house on a regular basis. (No comment.) But, this time, he told me these are the things that he'll be bringing to college.

Um, the kid is just a few days shy of 7 years old.

So, what does a first-grader expect to bring to college with him? (Updated list 4/15 with the stuff I forgot!)

His wallet
A mechanical pencil
A calculator
His "scientist's journal"
Deck of cards
Rubik's cube
His address book (has 911, A's cell #, my cell # in it)

I was instructed not to move these things -- FOR 11 YEARS. Unfortunately, I did not leave a note on the pile, so when A came home while I was putting R to bed upstairs, he put everything away. R was not pleased the next morning.

Apparently, I am not raising a procrastinator. And, hey, he has a pretty good sense of what he'll need for his classes!

Also, I think he's planning to clean someone out at poker. ;-)

The play's the thing

2011-04-07T22:04:00.000-04:00

Yesterday, R was in a play. His after-school program puts on a play every year, and the kids can all be in it if they want to. Last year, R wasn't interested at all. This year, he matter-of-factly announced to us over dinner one night that he was going to be in the play. And, that he had a speaking part.

I almost fell out of my chair, but I kept my reaction to myself. I've always thought that R would be wonderful on stage because he's incredibly expressive and has a flair for the dramatic. But as outgoing as he is normally, he HATES being the center of attention. He had some pretty disastrous performances at his old daycare/preschool, where he either fell apart on stage or ran into my arms sobbing. So, I've never pushed him into anything like that since. I even warned his kindergarten teacher last year that he might be hesitant to participate in the all-school music concert. He did okay, but he was extremely upset that A and I came to the performance. He didn't want us there AT ALL.

So, when R told us that he was going to be in the after-school play, I tried not to get too excited. I figured he would drop out after a few rehearsals or bail at the last second. I said a prayer for him yesterday that he wouldn't get upset with himself no matter what happened.

The play was sort of a re-telling of Toy Story, where the toys come alive in the after-school program classroom. It was clever and really funny! They even acted out commercials in between scenes. Probably 90% of the kids were girls, so there were many Barbies and princesses. But, R and the five other boys who participated were the Army guys, and it was perfect for them. The after-school teacher who directed the play is brilliant - she had the boys/Army guys come running into scenes like maniacs. They got to climb over things and jump and yell out, "Sir, yes, sir!"

In one scene, the Army men were searching for the missing Princess Fairy Barbie. Each one of the boys had his own line, where they came up to center stage and announced the results of their search. When it was R's turn, he walked up and delivered his line in a clear voice. Then he smiled.

When the Army men made their first appearance on stage, I saw R take a look at the crowd and freeze up. He turned his face away for a few seconds, and I could see him mentally psyching himself up. Then, he turned back, spotted A and me, gave us a little wave, and played his part.

He did it! And, the best part of all? He had fun doing it. He loved being in the cast and helping to make the scenery.

I found out later that none of his best friends in the after-school program wanted to be in the play. So, not only did R want to do it, but he stuck with it even though his friends weren't a part of it.

How cool is that? :-)

What would make you happy?

2011-03-14T00:30:00.000-04:00

It's been a rough winter. And, I don't just mean weather-wise.

I've been battling a lot of things, and I'll spare you the details, but now I'm faced with a very interesting and intriguing "assignment." I'm supposed to figure out what would make me happy -- and I'm finding it the most difficult question I've ever had to answer. Exciting, yes, but also really, really hard.

Because for the first time in my life, I want to do something big. I want to take a huge risk, even if it's a complete disaster. I want to do the irresponsible thing, the thing that doesn't make sense. I want to have fun again - and not "Mom fun" like painting pottery or redecorating my house or taking yoga with a friend. I want to do something for me instead of taking care of everyone else around me first. I've put others first for so long that when someone asks me what I want to do (even if it's where to go for dinner), I honestly can't answer. It's always been in my nature to just do whatever everyone else wants to do.

So, now that I'm forcing myself to think about what I want, I'm tossing around crazy ideas like moving to California or changing careers. Maybe if I can articulate the wildest ideas, something concrete will come out of it, some small first steps will become apparent. I feel very optimistic that, by this time next year, something big will have changed in my life - whether good or bad. To me, the worst thing would be if nothing changed -- if I just stifled these feelings, accepted things as they are, and went along with life as it is.

I'm not looking for sympathy or encouragement or reproach here (although I realize I may still get it). I am curious, though: How would you answer the question, "What would make you happy?"

One Benefit of Being Stuck Inside This Winter

2011-02-09T22:44:00.000-05:00

R asked if he could "clean something" one day. So, I grabbed an empty spray bottle, filled it with part water and part vinegar, gave him a roll of paper towels, and let him go to town.

He was a cleaning machine. He washed every window in the house, every mirror, the sinks, the tub, the toilet, the top of the fridge, and the cabinets. THEN, he dusted, Swiffered, vacuumed, and mopped the floors! He cleaned for 2 hours and kept asking for more things to clean.

Dreams do come true, people.

Snow Day in Pictures

2011-01-12T09:06:00.003-05:00

We're in the middle of a blizzard up here in Massachusetts. I'm home from work, R is home from school, and we're not going anywhere today. It's a day for cocoa, making cookies, and maybe throwing something in the crockpot for dinner. In between shoveling sessions, of course. I think we're going to look at snowflakes under the microscope, too. It's a day for snuggling together and being in awe of the power of nature.

I'm going to take pictures throughout the day just for fun.

We are exhausted! I have a feeling the shoveling is going to catch up with us in the morning. School is closed again tomorrow, so we have another day to have fun in the snow. Yay! [10:00 pm]

After two hours of shoveling and playing in the snow, we made popcorn and got comfy watching "Despicable Me." [2:00 pm]

A and I shoveled and shoveled and shoveled. We have a short driveway, but we live on a corner lot, so we have A LOT of sidewalk. R played happily in the backyard the whole time, building himself a fort around our play structure.[11:00 am - 1:00 pm]

I can't believe the juncos are coming out to feed! The wind is unbelievable, and it's still snowing hard and sideways. These poor little things must be so hungry. I'm glad we can share a few seeds with them. [10:30 am]

A is making pancakes and bacon! I love him. We'll definitely work off the calories today with all the shoveling. [10:00 am]

Warm, funky slipper socks are keeping my toes warm. [9:30 am]

Here's the view from my back door at 9 am. I accidentally chased away a chickadee from the feeder when I opened the door. Sorry, little guy!

How are you spending your day? Are you snowed in?

Confessions of a Hobby Blogger

2011-01-10T23:56:00.000-05:00

Recently, some blogging experts have written about things you shouldn't do on your blog. One of the no-nos is not having a focus, being all over the place with your posts.

Um, that would be me. I think I'm what is termed a "hobby" blogger.

So, I've been thinking about what focus I could have in this blog. I'm a mom, I work full-time, I love food and the beach and the natural world and music, I like thinking about how to make my house more comfortable and more reflective of me and my family. I like to go antique and thrift shopping.

But it's hard for me to see how I would focus on any of those facets exclusively. I joked with A that maybe I should start a blog called "The Timid Gardener." Because I realized that part of the problem may be that I love to think about stuff I'd like to do and projects I'd like to tackle (like planting a vegetable and herb garden), but I rarely get much beyond the thinking stage.

I need to work on that.

I remembered, though, that some of my favorite bloggers are women who write about their everyday lives. They don't have giveaways or point to daily coupons and deals. They write about their kids and their jobs and their marriage and their families and how they spent their date nights and holidays and vacations. They share recipes and movie and book reviews and they ask for advice.

Now, I love the focused bloggers, too. Their posts are full of amazing photos and insights and beauty. They post nearly every day (how do they do that?!?). They have thousands of readers. They have sponsors and go to blogging conferences. I'd love to join them someday. I'd love to be that knowledgeable and passionate about one thing (besides my son) that I could write about it every day and have it be helpful and interesting and compelling to others.

But, in the meantime, my everyday random life is my focus. It may only be interesting to my family and friends, and that's okay. That was all I hoped for when I started this blog. But if you're not a blood relative or real-life friend and you still like my posts, welcome to the Fieryboots family! I'm so glad you're here.

Now, I have a confession to make ...

My name is Kristen, and I'm a hobby blogger.

Maybe video games aren't pure evil after all

2011-01-07T21:30:00.000-05:00

I'm not a fan of video games. I know it's inevitable that we'll someday have a Wii or Playstation or something, but there's no need to rush it.

Recently, A let R play Club Penguin (run by Disney) because one of R's friends plays it all the time. It's an online game where kids create little penguins, play games, earn coins, adopt pets, change outfits, and interact with each other somewhat. I have to admit the whole thing is pretty cute and fun.

This week, I discovered a few benefits from R playing the game:

He's reading more. We told him that he has to read all the text without help from us, and he's doing it.
He hardly ever asks to watch TV now. Overall, he's getting a lot less screen time because he usually only plays the game for about a half-hour or less per day.
He's learning to save his "money." At first, he spent all the coins he earned in the game right away. Now, he saves his coins and really thinks about any "purchases" he makes.
He's learning generosity. Over the holidays, Club Penguin had a program where the kids could donate their coins to help others. R was surprisingly generous, and he was very excited to see the total actual dollar amounts that Disney ended up donating to organizations that provide food, shelter, and medical care.
He learned to use the phone. He wanted to play simultaneously with his friend who lives a block away, so A showed him first how to call me at work (to find out where the school directory was) and then to call his friend so they could coordinate.

Of course, we limit R's game time, and he has to finish his homework and spend some time reading a book to us before getting online.

I'm still not thrilled about video games, but this week my heart softened a little, especially when R and his friend camped out in our kitchen and played together like this:

I can't decide if this is incredibly cute or incredibly geeky. Maybe it's both. :-)

How do you feel about kids and video games?

A Christmas Miracle: 17 People Ate Brunch at My House

2011-01-06T14:04:00.000-05:00

I've been working on a new post for about two weeks now to talk about an epiphany I had about entertaining. But it has turned into a novel, and since I know no one is going to read it, I'm going to do the Cliff notes version here.

We haven't really entertained a large group of people at our house since just after we moved in almost 8 years ago. And by large, I mean more than 3 people (plus us).
I thought the house was too small, too cluttered, too ugly, etc.
Last year, I learned about the wonderful Sandy Coughlin and her blog and book, The Reluctant Entertainer.
Because of Sandy, I decided that giving back to our friends was more important than having a perfect house.
Plus, we will never have a perfect house.

So, we decided to host a post-Christmas brunch for a bunch of our friends. And, I'm so glad we did!

It was a lot of work - totally worth it, but a lot of work just the same. I was way too ambitious with food and made the mistake of leaving it open if people wanted to bring something. Result? We had so much food, it was ridiculous. Two weeks later, we are still working on the desserts!

We cleared off every surface in the kitchen to make room for the food and beverages. We cleared out the living room, leaving only places to sit and to rest plates, plus our bookshelves and entertainment center and the Christmas tree. All the Legos were banished to R's room. (We also put a little coffee table in his room for Lego-building, which has worked out great!) I bought two storage ottomans from IKEA, which provided extra seating and were the favored spot because they were right next to the radiator (so your buns get nice and toasty). We cleared out half of A's office, made the futon a couch again, and let the tweens hang out in there, playing video games.

My living room has never looked so good! I forgot to take pictures during the brunch, but here's the before brunch picture:

I can't tell you how happy this picture makes me. I keep looking at it over and over again. Of course I see the flaws (like the picture above the sofa hanging too high), but I think it looks homey and welcoming and comfortable - just like I wanted. One of my friends walked in, her eyes bugged out, and she whispered to me, "What did you do?!?!" It's that much of a transformation. The fire in the fireplace and my rustic candelabra on the mantle all lit up helped with the coziness, too.

We had a lot of fun with everyone, and we're planning to host more friends more often - just with less food. We're thinking a soup night - cook up one or two big pots of soup, invite the gang over, and people can bring bread and wine if they want. Something a lot more simple.

The biggest transformation for me, though, was in my head. Not only did I learn that I don't need to have a perfect home to host a gathering, but I also learned (thanks to Sandy) that the important thing about entertaining is making your guests welcome and comfortable. I really tried not to think so much about the house once it was ready (which was essentially focusing on myself - and I worked hard NOT to worry about the house too much ahead of time), but to focus on our friends and spending time with them instead of frittering about every little thing and busying myself in the kitchen. And, guess what? I think my being able to enjoy the event more made it more comfortable for everyone. When people arrived, the food was ready, and we could all just eat and relax. Who could ask for more on the day after Christmas? :-)

(And, yes, this was the SHORT version of this story!)

A few holiday pics: fondue, flying, and more

2010-12-29T23:56:00.000-05:00

I hope you all had a very merry Christmas! (And, if you don't celebrate Christmas, take that to mean that I hope you had a day filled with love and hope and goodness.)

Our holiday break so far has been a fun combination of crazy times with friends and mellow times with just the three of us. Instead of relaying all the details, I thought I'd share a few photos.

This is my favorite Christmas morning pic: R at the kitchen table, assembling some of his many Legos.

R, full of Christmas excitement, goes flying through the air

R snapped this one of A and me during the dessert course at the Melting Pot

My boys making crazy fondue faces

More holiday pics and tales to come...

A Weekend of Holiday Preparations

2010-12-20T01:04:00.000-05:00

My boys and I were busy this weekend, running from store to store, getting our shopping done. Luckily, we managed to get an early start each day, so the crowds and traffic weren't too bad.

The early starts allowed us to squeeze in some time to unwind, too. A visit to the playground. A drive up to the beach for some sea glass hunting at dusk. (R found tons of cold-stunned crabs hiding under the rocks.) Watching "White Christmas" and "Scrooge: A Christmas Carol" while wrapping presents and addressing cards.

I think I'm more excited for a week of moments like this than I am for Christmas itself. I'm looking forward to 10 days off - 10 days of very few plans, lazy mornings with my boys, snowflakes, cocoa, and assembling lots and lots of new Lego sets. :-)

First heartbreak

2010-12-05T21:30:00.000-05:00

This afternoon, a woman broke R's heart. Careless words were said.

R hung his head all through dinner, not saying anything. He turned away and faced the wall. No amount of coaxing or joking could get him to feel better. He pulled out a piece of paper and a pencil and wrote, "I'm just not in the mood" when asked by A if he would talk to us.

I've never, ever seen him so sad, his little spirit crushed. No tears, just utter sadness.

I was the woman.

I feel like R will never love me the same way again, that we've crossed over into a different world and won't be able to get back to where we were before.

I was 11, I think, when I realized that my mom wasn't perfect. It was hard to accept then. R only had 6.5 years to believe that I was the one person in his life who would never hurt him. That is much too short.

When I started to cry tonight, R handed me a note that read, "I am sorey."

When I told him he had nothing to be sorry about, that I was the one who was sorry, he wrote, "It's okae. I luve you!"

I think R will be okay. We were snuggling before the night was over. But I know I will never be the same.

What Do They Put in Those Meatballs?

2010-12-04T23:06:00.001-05:00

Now that the 30 Days of Thanks are over, I'm working on a new project.

I'm a bit late, but these are the makings of a homemade advent calendar. I wanted to make my own version of this one from Pottery Barn, but after what seemed like hours at the fabric and crafts store, I ended up going in a different direction. I found these fabric scraps bundled together, and I just fell in love with them. I like that some of them are Christmasy, but in a different palette than the typical bright greens and reds. I picked out the blue paisleys and green to coordinate. My plan is to make 25 pockets with the fabric scraps, sew them onto the muslin, and use the white label tag thingies for the numbers. I haven't sewed in AGES, but my friend lent me her sewing machine, so I'm optimistic that I can complete the calendar this month - even if we don't use it until next year. Wish me luck!

Today, the boys and I went to the Swedish Yuletide festival in Boston. We arrived in time to catch the St. Lucia procession, which for some reason freaked out R. He buried his face in my jacket and wanted to be carried, all 50+ pounds of him. So, we grabbed some cups of glögg and did a little shopping for Swedish Christmas decorations. I can't tell you what I bought because some of my purchases might end up being presents for my family! Although I can show you the candleholder below - the kind that makes the little brass angels spin around and bells chime from the heat of the candles - because I'm keeping it. :-) That's also the table I picked up from Etsy a couple of weeks ago.

The festival was really crowded, but we found a spot on the floor (literally) and ate our fill of Swedish meatballs, lingonberries, hot dogs, saffron buns, princesstårta, and other lovely treats.

We had a nice time, although next year we'll go a little later when the crowd isn't so thick. Because we learned an important lesson: Never get between a middle-aged Swedish woman and the dessert table. Goodness - I've never seen so much pushing and shoving! ;-)

A Blast from Christmas Past

2010-12-03T23:14:00.000-05:00

As part of the preparations for my company's upcoming awards ceremony and holiday party, I've been scouring our network drives for old pictures. Look what I found!

This picture was from the holiday party back in 2005, and I had never seen it before. I can't believe how little R was! I remember that party because R spent almost the entire time climbing up and sliding down the stairs inside the restaurant, which was fine with me because it kept me from having to stand around and make small talk. :-)

Day 30 - 30 Days of Thanks: Discipline

2010-12-01T21:59:00.000-05:00

This is it - Day 30! I made it!

On my final day of 30 Days of Thanks, I'm thankful for discipline. Which is funny because it's something I don't have much of anymore. (Case in point: The Halloween candy bowl.)

I undertook this 30 Days of Thanks project not only because I wanted to take the time to be thankful, but also because I wanted to force myself to write something every day. I wanted to do this for me, to make time for something that wasn't work or cleaning or being in charge of our little household.

It was really hard sometimes. I spent a lot of nights typing away on my laptop until 1 or 2 a.m. and got far too little sleep. I slipped behind in posting when I was sick and exhausted. I started running out of ideas even though I had brainstormed many posts in advance, before I even started this project on Day 1.

But I did it, and I'm really proud of myself. I'm thankful that I managed to squeak out enough discipline to get through it. It was fun, and I enjoyed the challenge.

Thank you for coming along for the ride - for reading one, a few, or all of my 30 Days of Thanks posts.

I'm hopeful that I will keep posting often - probably not every day, but we'll see!

In the meantime, I'm practicing a new discipline: making sure I get at least 7 hours of sleep. In fact, I'm off to practice that right now.

Happy December, everyone!

Day 29 - 30 Days of Thanks: The Earth

2010-11-30T22:07:00.000-05:00

Today - and every day - I am thankful for this amazing and beautiful planet. From the tiniest organism to the tallest mountains, the Earth is filled with so much wonder. Is there anything more incredible?

I find so much joy in the Earth. I could spend hours watching birds flit around my backyard. Or a rosy sunset. Or the ocean waves rolling in. Hiking in the woods can bring tears to my eyes because I become overwhelmed by the beauty of animal tracks in the snow. Or moss growing on boulders. Or majestic trees shading the forest floor.

I know that the Earth can be deadly and dangerous, too. Volcanoes erupt and destroy homes. Earthquakes and tornadoes and hurricanes and drought and blizzards can kill animals and people. Wild animals kill each other and attack humans. But there is awesome power there. And, a circle of life and an overall balance that must be respected.

To me, the most amazing thing of all is how resilient the Earth and its creatures are. Despite everything that we humans have done to this place, the Earth rebounds. Life goes on. Not always, of course. Species have become endangered, then extinct. But I think about how plants can take root in the most inhospitable places. I think about the movie Wall-E, where a tiny plant managed to grow amidst mountains and mountains of garbage and deadness after hundreds of years, after humans had trashed the Earth and abandoned it to live in space.

I believe we have an obligation to take care of this Earth, to respect and cherish and honor this place that sustains life for us and millions of other species. But that's a whole other post for another time.

Today, I'm just eternally grateful for this beautiful planet and every living thing on it.

Day 28 - 30 Days of Thanks: This Bloggy Thing Here and Other Internetty Goodness

2010-11-29T22:13:00.000-05:00

Can you tell I'm getting to the end of the 30 days? I'm having a rough time coming up with new posts! It's not that I don't have things to be thankful for - it's just that the things that come to mind every day are the same ones I've already posted about - family, friends, R, sleep, animals, etc. The basic wonderful things and people in my life.

But, as I was lamely attempting to participate in my first Tweet chat tonight (for #MrsMeyers via @ResourcefulMom - I just couldn't keep up!), I thought about how thankful I am for blogs, Twitter, Facebook, and the Internet in general. I know they can be huge time-wasters, but through them, I've found other people with the same interests as me, people who inspire me with their art and talents and food. I've even seen new sides of my family and my friends as I've read their blogs and Tweets. And, probably most importantly, I've found other moms, especially when R was a baby and a toddler and I needed to know that I wasn't alone in the world. (Okay, hold the phone on the Tweet chat - I actually won one of the giveaways - woohoo! Another reason to love the Internet!)

And, I love having an outlet for writing, for sharing my thoughts and stories -- even when no one is reading them except for my dad. :-) This blog gives me purpose apart from work and motherhood and wifedom. For that, and for all of you out there, I'm thankful.

Day 27 - 30 Days of Thanks: My Three Sons

2010-11-28T23:06:00.000-05:00

It has been really hard not to write about R every single day of these 30 Days of Thanks. I truly am thankful for him every day, and every day he does something that makes me love him even more. This morning, he asked me to help him decorate his cardboard doll house (all his own creation - down to the tiny bunk beds with scraps of fabric for blankets, bookshelf with tiny cardboard books, fireplace, and slices of cardboard pizza) for Christmas. We made little cardboard wreaths, strings of lights, stockings to hang up on the mantle, and candy canes. The house is home to several of his Lego figures, including storm troopers, miners, divers, and a farmer - quite the diverse family!

Tonight, R yelled to me from the bathtub that he didn't want to take a bath. When I explained that he needed to wash his hair, he yelled back, "Well, let's get on with it already!"

He is such a blessing. :-) I will forever be grateful to God for bringing him into my life.

Some of you know that I struggled for a long time with the fact that I only have one child. I always wanted at least two. I always wanted R to have a sibling, for many reasons. I spent many years yearning for another child, pleading with my husband, praying, crying, waiting.

This year, I learned to accept things as they are. I've even learned to appreciate and love having just one child.

But, during the time when I hadn't yet accepted my parental portion in life, I found an outlet for my desire to have more children. I found Compassion.

Through Compassion, I was able to have two more sons, both around the same age as R - one is just a few days older than him. One of my Compassion sons lives in Uganda, the other lives in Haiti. My support provides them with food, medical supplies, access to education and Sunday School, mosquito nets, and more. One of my boys was able to buy a goat for his family with his birthday money - I was so excited for him! But as much as my few dollars a month help these boys, I think that they bring me as much or even greater joy.

Sponsoring these two boys has completely changed my life. I think of everything I do, every dollar I spend differently. It colors my view of everything. Every time I go to the grocery store and load up my cart, I think about what a luxury that is. I can't watch some of my favorite TV shows anymore, like "House Hunters." I find it really hard to listen to people complain about bathrooms or bedrooms that are too small, how they "need" granite counter tops. I end up yelling at the screen, "You NEED shelter and food! No one NEEDS granite counter tops!"

Being a Compassion sponsor has been at the root of many of my recent lifestyle changes - using cloth napkins, switching to locally grown organic foods, taking shorter showers. I always have at the back of my mind how the typical American lifestyle uses up so much more of the world's resources than necessary. I'm trying to change how I live because I think about how my Compassion children live.

I'm not trying to toot my own horn here. There is so much more I could do. I am not holding myself up as a model for responsible living.

What I am doing is expressing thanks for the eye-opening experience of sponsoring these two special children. I'm thankful for the change they have brought about in me, for the impact my sponsorship is having on these boys and their families, and for the awareness and empathy that sponsorship is developing in my own precious biological son.

Day 26 - 30 Days of Thanks: A Plan-Free Day

2010-11-27T21:21:00.000-05:00

Tomorrow, we have no plans. Or, rather, our plans fell through. (Hope you're feeling better, Dad!)

So I'm excited for a day when we don't have to be anywhere, when we can just relax and sleep in, and when we can decide to do something on a whim. I think it's the perfect way to end our long holiday weekend!

Day 25 - 30 Days of Thanks: How I Spent My Black Friday

2010-11-26T21:45:00.000-05:00

Today was another day of little joys. And, none of it involved shopping - yay!

A lazy morning. A delicious breakfast at the diner. A few hours at the Museum of Science. An amazing film about whales, including rare footage of blue whales surfacing! Running into an old friend from Plymouth. A leftover turkey sandwich. The first clementine of the season (so juicy and sweet!). Taking a blissful 2-hour afternoon nap. Listening to R playing and singing while taking his bath. Reading Calvin & Hobbes at bedtime. Some late night leftover pie. Realizing that tomorrow will just as mellow and special. :-)

Day 24 - 30 Days of Thanks: Thanksgiving!

2010-11-25T13:51:00.000-05:00

Thanksgiving has always been my favorite holiday. Partly because it's about family, friends, and food without the distraction of presents (and the shopping and overspending that can go along with it), but I'm sure a lot of it has to do with the fact that I grew up in "America's Hometown" -- Plymouth, Massachusetts.

Thanksgiving is a big day in Plymouth, naturally. There's a huge communal meal at Plimoth Plantation, where you can eat like the Pilgrims did. My family always ate at home, but we did go to the ecumenical church service on Thanksgiving mornings. It was held in the oldest church in Plymouth, a beautiful old stone building in the center of town. We'd sit, huddled together in the hard pews, while people dressed as Pilgrims and Wampanoag Indians processed in. We'd hear readings from the Bible, the Torah, a proclamation from the Governor of Massachusetts, and (my favorite part) The Lord's Prayer spoken in the Wampanoag language by the chief of the local Wampanoag tribe.

Afterwards, we'd go around the corner to a little coffee place and have toasted muffins with lots of butter and hot cocoa. Then, we'd head home to put the turkey in, prep the vegetables, chow down on appetizers, and finally stuff ourselves silly.

I hope I can make Thanksgiving as special for R as it was for me. We don't have any Pilgrims around, but we are making our own traditions. Today that included watching the Macy's parade and the Charlie Brown special about the Pilgrims and the first Thanksgiving, building a Lego jail, eating blueberry muffins for breakfast, and in a few minutes, heading to the park to play some soccer before we cart the turkey that A is smoking over to our friends' house for the big meal.

How are you celebrating Thanksgiving today?

Day 23 - 30 Days of Thanks: Friends

2010-11-24T00:03:00.000-05:00

I was in a bad mood this evening. I wasn't feeling great physically and I had some unpleasant news at work that upset me. I was angry and in pain and ready to explode. In my opinion, I needed to go home, relax, and go to bed.

Instead, A called to tell me that friends were coming over for dinner.

I'm not always great with spontaneous plans, especially when they involve people coming to my house when I'm not there to clean it beforehand. I just wanted A to call our friends back to cancel. But we didn't. So, I freaked out a little. (Okay, a lot.)

In spite of my stupidity, our friends were just what I needed. A few hours sharing a meal together by candlelight, watching R play with and be absolutely adored by two toddlers, and talking about everything but work made my crankiness disappear. I even smiled and watched happily while the toddlers methodically took out every toy and game we own. Because who cares about a clean house, especially when you're surrounded by tiny people who jump into your lap, throw their arms around your neck, and squeal with giggles?

I'm glad I didn't miss out on this sweet time with people I love.

I'm thankful for friends and friendship.

Day 22 - 30 Days of Thanks: Short and Sweet

2010-11-22T23:46:00.000-05:00

Today, I'm thankful for a short work (and school) week.

Just 2.5 days of work, and 1 is already over. Thank goodness!

Day 21 - 30 Days of Thanks: Beautiful Things, Creative People

2010-11-21T23:42:00.000-05:00

Today, I'm thankful for sites that are full of inspiration, creativity, and beauty. These are a few of my recent favorites:

Interior Accents - The Etsy shop of a very talented woman who specializes in painting and finishes
red.house.design - I've written before about this Swedish designer's blog, but now she has an Etsy shop featuring her colorful Swedish prints
Sandra Juto - Swedish designer and knitter who invented Wrist Worms (I can't wait to get a few pairs as Christmas presents)
A Country Farmhouse - When I found this woman's beautiful blog about her and her husband and their life as renovators and lovers of their farmhouse in Washington state, I told my sister, "She's living the life I always dreamed of!"
Soule Mama - A blog about raising children, living simply and naturally, and loving an old farmhouse in Maine
Reluctant Entertainer - An encouraging, beautiful site by a woman who teaches that entertaining is not about you ("My house isn't big enough/pretty enough/clean enough/etc."), but about building relationships with others and making them feel welcome. Her book is amazing and completely changed my view about having friends over to our home.

Day 20 - 30 Days of Thanks: Antiquing

2010-11-20T23:46:00.000-05:00

One of the things I love about A and R is that they like to visit antique shops and fairs with me. Today, we headed to Hopkinton, MA to Vintage on the Common, a wonderful antique shop where we spent A LOT of time and made some fabulous and affordable purchases.

The shop was having a special Christmas event, and we were welcomed with cookies, cider, eggnog, and chocolates. The very kind shop owner sat down with R to show him how to make a pomander out of fruit, cloves, and cinnamon, which was great because it gave A and I time to browse. Our friend PJ also met up with us there, and she made quite a few purchases herself, including a framed antique postcard with Santa on it that she and I are going to share (i.e., I get it this Christmas, she gets it next Christmas, etc.).

Antique/vintage shopping is a fun way to recycle! R immediately found a little gilded pineapple jewelry box that he wanted because of the "secret" compartment inside. I found a huge, rustic wooden candleholder that holds 12 votive candles and is perfect for the mantle above our fireplace - or as a table centerpiece. It was once some kind of equipment from a farm. I also swooned over a tiny little stool that had a handpainted bird on top. A found an interesting coin set that included coins from year 0, 1000, and 2000; a vintage bronzing kit with all kinds of bronzing and gilding powders; a collection of Edgar Allan Poe stories published in 1903; and a science book for kids from the late 1800s. There were so many other things we were interested in -- we'll definitely be going back soon!

Today, I'm not only thankful for the fun finds we got, but I'm also thankful that antiques shopping is another activity my family enjoys doing together. I don't think I would enjoy it as much if my boys weren't with me!

What does your family like to do together?

Day 19 - 30 Days of Thanks: Simple Things

2010-11-19T21:06:00.000-05:00

A warm fire. A delicious, home-cooked meal. A new magazine in the mail. A soft blanket. A bottle of prosecco. Chocolate. Cardinals, blue jays, chickadees, and sparrows at the bird feeder. A hot cup of tea. A pile of books yet to be read. A hug from my husband. A sweet voice calling, "Good night, mama!" A still, quiet house at bedtime.

I am thankful for all of this tonight.

Day 18 - 30 Days of Thanks: Teachers

2010-11-18T21:31:00.000-05:00

On Thursdays, I get to spend an hour in R's classroom, helping the kids with various math activities and games.

I love volunteering because I get to spend more time with R and see how he behaves and participates in school. I know it's not a true picture due to the fact that I'm there, and my presence will always change how he behaves at least slightly, but it's still interesting to see him interacting with his classmates and teachers.

I also love this time because I get to know (and appreciate!) all the kids. It makes me feel more at home within R's school community. I feel connected to his world outside our home. And, the kids are really smart and talented and funny and kind. Each one of them has a special place in my heart.

But, most of all, volunteering in the classroom reminds me how hard R's teachers work, how patient they are, how much they truly love teaching. It is no easy feat to get 20 six- and seven-year-olds to sit in a circle and listen to a story or to organize them into groups and get them rotating between math stations (not to mention herding them all to lunch or the library or recess). Even when they are all at their own seats working on writing projects quietly, chaos can quickly ensue.

Somehow, despite constant interruptions and distractions, R's teachers manage to get their knowledge across. I am constantly amazed at how much R has learned in his short time in elementary school. And, it's not just reading, writing, math, social studies, art, music, and science. R's school and teachers spend a lot of time teaching the children how to be kind to one another, how to give compliments, how to be inclusive, how to respect privacy, how to be polite.

On top of all that, R's teachers take a lot of time to communicate with us parents - through email, written notes, meetings, and impromptu conversations before and after school.

I know that teachers do so much more than what I've mentioned here. I can't do justice to the work and dedication and time they put into their jobs. But I can be thankful for all of it.

Is there a teacher that you're thankful for today?

Day 17 - 30 Days of Thanks: My Job

2010-11-17T22:00:00.000-05:00

I complain about my job a lot. I let it stress me out. I wish for something else. I was grumbling about it to God this morning on my way to work.

As I climbed the stairs up from the subway, I saw a homeless man there, his belongings in plastic bags piled up around him, his head in his hands in obvious distress and heartache. He looked like he had lost all hope -- and that the world had forgotten him.

I said a prayer for that man and for my ungrateful heart. I prayed as I hustled off to my well-paying job in my warm office with a view of the city, in a building with a lobby lined with marble.

I am unbelievably lucky to have my job, to work with people I like, to do work that I enjoy (most of the time), and to be paid well for that work. My job enables me to provide food, clothing, and shelter for my family and then some. Somehow I lost sight of that.

I'm thankful for my job today -- and for being humbled when I lost my spirit of thankfulness.

Day 16 - 30 Days of Thanks: A Break

2010-11-17T21:36:00.000-05:00

Notice how I missed posting Day 16 on the 16th? Well, I combined some of my recent thanks yesterday. I still have my cold and a bad cough and was feeling achey, so before dinner last night, I took some NyQuil. Goodness, I have never fallen asleep that fast and that deeply before. A had to wake me up for dinner, which I somehow ate, then I vaguely remember reading to R and climbing into bed with him, and that was pretty much it for me. I was asleep by 8:30 and at some point made my way to my own bed. And, guess what! This morning I felt better! It's amazing what not staying up until 2 am does for your health! ;-)

So, even though I had written out a thankful blog post, my body took a little break from blogdom yesterday. My thanks go out to medicine and sleep for a second day each.

OK, on to Day 17!

Day 15 - 30 Days of Thanks: Laughter

2010-11-15T23:48:00.000-05:00

I've been feeling a little sad today because I've been struggling with my annual lingering cough that comes out of nowhere and leaves me exhausted. So, I thought I would focus on the positive. Today, I'm thankful for laughter and humor and silliness! And, R is an endless source of all of those.

It's really hard to be sad when R is around. Not only does he do crazy things and make crazy faces, but he also says the most hilarious things, especially when he's not trying to be funny. Last week, he lamented, "Every second of my life brings me one step closer to death."

One of my favorite websites to visit when I need a laugh is Catalog Living. If you haven't seen it yet, it's written by a comedian who takes photos from catalogs like Pottery Barn and Ethan Allen and adds her own captions relating to an imaginary family (Elaine and Gary and their children). I haven't been able to go into the Pottery Barn store without giggling now.

Laughter is such a wonderful gift. It helps me get through difficult or stressful situations and heal from past hurts. It releases tension and puts people at ease. And, you can find humor in almost anything.

Case in point: This sign I saw last Thanksgiving.

What makes you laugh?

Day 14 - 30 Days of Thanks: Animals

2010-11-15T00:19:00.000-05:00

As I sit here typing with a warm, fuzzy cat asleep on my legs, I can't help but be thankful for animals.

My cat Harley is 14.5 years old, and I've had him since he was a kitten. He's my little buddy. He meows incessantly when he knows it's my bedtime to get me to go upstairs to bed. He also meows incessantly to tell me when he's found a centipede somewhere in the house. He still plays catch and chase with balls we make for him out of aluminum foil. He freaks out when he sees us pull out our suitcases because he hates when we leave him or change our routines.

Harley's usual spot on the couch

Harley brings our little family a lot of joy. R adores him, even though Harley has avoided him more than interacted with him. I love how he always has to sit on my lap or legs when I'm on the couch. And, Harley keeps A company in the wee hours when the rest of the house is asleep. I'm thankful for this tiny, fuzzy member of our family.

I'm also thankful today for all animals. If you've ever watched Nature on PBS or the Life series on Discovery Channel or the BBC's Planet Earth series, or spent any time with animals or observed them, you can't help but be amazed by them, by their fortitude and adaptability, by their beauty and their interconnectedness with other species and with the Earth itself.

I can't possibly do justice to the entire animal kingdom here, but I do have a special place in my heart for two species in particular: manatees and elephants.

Manatees are so gentle and trusting and curious, which has unfortunately contributed to their status as an endangered species. Because they increasingly have to co-exist with people, they are often injured or killed when struck by boat motors or by ingesting fish hooks, fishing line, and trash.

Source: Miami New Times, "Record 429 Manatee Fatalities in 2009," 1/7/2010

Sometimes when I visit my mom in Florida, we go to visit Homosassa Springs Wildlife Park, which shelters and cares for injured manatees. The first time I saw them up close as they were fed whole carrots and cabbage leaves and alfalfa, I cried. It kills me that these gentle animals are at risk mainly because of human beings and our thoughtlessness.

Elephants also have this effect on me. Their matriarchal society and their behavior that shows their love and caring for one another are incredible. The other night, I caught the end of "Echo: An Elephant to Remember" on Nature. I'd seen other films in the past about Echo, but this was a tribute to her after she died, a look at how her family is surviving, and how her family developed. One of the most touching parts was a look back at Echo's son Ely, who was born years ago with crippled front legs. Ely kept trying to stand despite his poor crumpled legs, and after three days with Echo's caring and encouragement, he did! Ely would have died if hadn't managed to stand up because he couldn't reach his mother's milk otherwise and wouldn't have been able to keep up with the herd. When this show was filmed, Ely was an adult male and had left his family previously, like male elephants do. But when the rains came after a long drought, Ely found his family again at the river and tenderly touched tusks and trunks with one of his sisters. There were many, many examples of these elephants helping each other, protecting each other, mourning and grieving for family members who had died.

Like manatees, elephants are in danger, largely because of human beings. As our need for additional space and resources increases, we encroach upon these animals' native habitats and come into conflict with them.

When I observe animals and the natural world around me, I feel closer to God and appreciate his amazing handiwork more. Manatees, elephants, and all animals are an integral part of the Earth's design. When something happens to one species, others are affected in unforeseen ways. I believe if we take care of the natural world, we're also taking care of ourselves and of God's beautiful creation.

These two organizations are doing important, wonderful, and fascinating work to save manatees and elephants:

Save the Manatee Club - You can provide support by adopting a manatee. My friend Rob adopted a manatee (Dana) for me as a Christmas present one year. It was one of the best presents I ever received!
Amboseli Trust for Elephants - This organization funds the Amboseli Elephant Research Project, which was founded by Cynthia Moss, the researcher who has been studying elephants in Kenya for years, including Echo and her family.

What animals are close to your heart?

Days 11-13 - 30 Days of Thanks: Family

2010-11-14T00:52:00.000-05:00

I feel badly that I didn't have a chance to post over the last few days. We were visiting my family in Florida, and somehow I just never found a good time to hole up with the computer and post my thankful entries. But we're home now, and I'm trying to get back on track!

What I should be thankful for this week is air travel, since it's what allowed me to visit with my family. Well, air travel plus the Veterans Day holiday, plus a fantastic 50% off Jet Blue sale. I am very thankful for all of those things. I feel very blessed to have been able to take this trip.

But the point of our trip was to see my mom and stepdad, my sister and her husband, and my three nephews - and we had such a nice time! R loves being with his cousins. Even though they've only seen each other a handful of times in their lives, they get along beautifully and it's like they've never been apart.

Cousins making silly faces

I miss my sisters a lot, and it was really great to spend almost a whole day with my middle sister. We just hung out and talked and laughed and then took the kids to a playground. I wish we could do that every week.

Being with my mom always feel homey and special. She made us an early Thanksgiving dinner, took us to a beautiful island where we enjoyed the beach and walked a nature trail, and went mini-golfing with us. But I enjoy sitting and chatting and watching TV with her just as much as going on special excursions.

Right before we headed home to Boston - R was exhausted!

So, for days 11 through 13, I'm thankful for my family and the precious time we got to spend together this week. It was a short visit, but a very sweet one!

Now, I would be eternally thankful for someone to come and unpack the suitcases for me! :-)

Day 10 - 30 Days of Thanks: The Medicine Cabinet

2010-11-10T01:01:00.001-05:00

Today I'm thankful for Tylenol, sore throat drops, decongestant, Emergen-C, and tissues.

For home remedies like warm cider and chicken soup.

Source: Scientific American, "Can a good night's sleep prevent a cold?"

And, a second shout-out to good ol' sleep.

All of which I'm hoping will help me feel better soon!

How do you deal with a cold? Here's hoping you stay healthy!

Day 9 - 30 Days of Thanks: Sleep

2010-11-09T07:00:00.001-05:00

I'm giving thanks today for sleep. I don't get much of it (which is totally my own fault - I need to learn to put the laptop away hours sooner than I do), but the little I do get is precious.

The transforming power of sleep amazes me. I can fall asleep angry or stressed or sad, and wake up calm, refreshed, and excited for a new day, for a new start.

Pre-marriage and pre-parenthood, A and I would stay out until the wee hours and then sleep until early afternoon. When R was a baby and toddler and took naps every day, I'd usually sleep during at least one of his naptimes. I didn't realize in those days how much I would miss the freedom to sleep almost whenever I wanted to.

I fantasize about napping now. Especially on cold, wet, dreary days (like yesterday) when the world seems to whisper, "Stay in bed."

Do you get enough sleep? How much is enough?

Day 8 - 30 Days of Thanks: Food

2010-11-08T12:47:00.000-05:00

I'm thankful for food today, but not just in the being thankful that I have enough to eat way. (Which I am, of course!)

I'm thankful for the strong connections that food can make between people.

For A and I, talking about food, shopping for food, cooking together, eating together - that's what binds us as a couple outside of our role as R's parents. We love the adventure of food, of trying new things and new restaurants, of sharing each other's meals. We talk about food and recipes and produce and cheese and wine A LOT. Going through cookbooks and cooking/baking catalogs and kitchen stores is thrilling to us.

This same love of food - and talking about it - is woven through our relationships with my family, too. Every time we visit my dad, he prepares an amazing feast, usually beginning with an antipasti platter like the one above. Inevitably, our conversation centers around food. My dad shares stories of restaurants he's been to, remembered by a particular dish he had there. And, usually, while I occupy R in the other room, my dad and A chat about food in the kitchen. It has helped my dad and my husband make a connection.

My youngest sister and I share the food connection, too. When we catch up, we usually talk about what we've made. She is a whiz with preserves and cookies; I make a mean pie crust and blueberry buckle.

Food connects people with their family heritage (which is why I've been obsessed with my Swedish cookbooks recently). Having a recipe box full of handed-down recipes from family and old friends is as precious as a photo album. I think of my sweet grandma every time I bake something because I use her Jadeite bowl to mix my batter. And, A has learned to cook my favorite meal from growing up, my mom's pork chops with rice and mushroom gravy.

Some of my favorite memories with friends are of a crew of us, crowded around a tiny kitchen table at our friends' tiny farmhouse, devouring bread and cheese and wine together. Or, at another friend's rustic vacation house on Martha's Vineyard, when we all tramp down to the docks, buy whatever seafood we want, and then cook it up for everyone to share - after enjoying a baked stuffed quahog right there on the docks.

Last night, A and I had planned a fall feast to share with friends, but our friends were sick and couldn't make it. We were disappointed at first, but we decided instead to enjoy the food anyway. We had warm, crusty bread, Cotswold cheese, fresh pear slices, and local hard cider to start. Then, A made up a batch of his spicy pumpkin ginger soup. Finally, we had a pork roast, with slices of homemade cranberry bread on the side. Nothing fancy, but a perfect meal to warm you up on a chilly night, while sitting by candlelight and in the glow of the fireplace. It was magical and helped A and R and I relax and reconnect after a busy weekend.

What connections has food made for you? What are your favorite food blogs? (I was going to list mine, but there are too many to count!)

Day 7 - 30 Days of Thanks: Time

2010-11-07T07:11:00.000-05:00

Source: ronntorossian.com

This morning, I'm thankful for an extra hour in my day. Even if it didn't mean an extra hour of sleep for me. Because daylight savings means nothing to a six-year-old who is raring to go!

I'll be using my extra hour this morning to make a batch of cranberry bread.

Did you remember to turn your clocks back? How did you use your extra hour?

Day 6 - 30 Days of Thanks: The Weekend!

2010-11-06T00:01:00.001-04:00

I asked R at dinner last night what I should write about being thankful for today, and his answer was, "The weekend."

What does the weekend mean to a six-year-old? It means swimming lessons, soccer, a play date with a new friend, fewer restrictions on TV time, and - most importantly - no homework!

What does the weekend mean to me? It means grocery shopping, cleaning the house, lazy mornings, pancakes and bacon, dinner with friends and family, spontaneous day trips, evenings in front of the fire, time outside, and relaxing at home with my boys.

Happy weekend! What does the weekend mean to you?

Day 5 - 30 Days of Thanks: The Best Gift

2010-11-05T00:01:00.005-04:00

Today - and every day - I am thankful for the most amazing gift I have ever received ...

... a sweet, smart, funny, tow-headed boy who squinches his eyes when he smiles.

Day 4 - 30 Days of Thanks: Water

2010-11-04T00:01:00.001-04:00

On Tuesday afternoon, a construction crew around the corner from our house accidentally cut through a water main. Our water was shut off for awhile and, when it was back on, our water was smelly and discolored for hours. R skipped his bath, we delayed doing laundry, and we drank juice instead of our usual water for the evening. It was a small inconvenience for one night.

Reality check: More than half of Africa's people lack access to safe drinking water.*

I pray a lot when I'm in the shower. In the winter, I usually start my prayers off by thanking God from the bottom of my heart for hot water. Because there is nothing like searing hot water when your toes are numb from cold. In the summer, a cool shower (not to mention a swim in the community pool) changes my whole outlook when I'm sweaty and cranky.

Reality check: The average distance a woman in Africa and Asia walks to collect water is 3.75 miles.*

Today, I am thankful for nearly limitless access to clean, safe water. I turn on the faucet, and it's there. I have water to drink, cook with, bathe in, wash my clothes in, feed to my plants. I even have water to give to my cat and to the birds and squirrels in our yard. To help conserve water, we have a rain barrel, we turn off the water while we brush our teeth, and we try to take short showers, but I know those are just small measures.

Reality check: In developing countries, one person uses an average of 2.6 gallons of water per day. In the United States, one person uses an average of 75-80 gallons per day.*

I promise not all of my 30 Days of Thanks posts will feature me up on my soap box! But I think God has planted a seed in my heart to be aware and conscious of some of the things that I used to take for granted - and to share the tiny shoots of that seed with you.

Thankfulness in Action
*The water facts in this post are from Drop in the Bucket, an organization that builds wells and sanitation systems for communities in Africa. You can donate even just $10 to help provide wells to African schools.

At my sister's wedding last year, I met a fascinating friend of hers that works with Engineers Without Borders. Ruth is a water consultant engineer who travels around the world, working with residents in developing communities to design and build systems to provide clean, dependable water. Although fundraising for her trip to Kenya earlier this year is now closed, you can read more about the project there.

Day 3 - 30 Days of Thanks: Choices

2010-11-03T00:04:00.004-04:00

Source: Tuscola Today

Today, I am thankful for the choices I have the freedom to make -- not just the votes I cast on Tuesday for people and questions, but also the hundreds of decisions I have the privilege to make each and every day.

I open the refrigerator and cabinets and choose what to eat for my meals. I go to the grocery store and choose organic or conventional, healthy or junky. I can choose to eat fresh foods, to cook something, or to eat out. I can even choose not to eat if I'm not hungry.

I select the water temperature for my shower and how long to run the water. I choose what soap, shampoo, conditioner to use. I pick from among a closetful of clean towels.

I choose what clothes to wear. I can vary my choices based on the weather, my mood, or what activities I'm undertaking each day. I choose when to wash my clothes and whether to wash them by machine or hand. I can use the dryer or hang them up.

I decide how warm or cool to keep my house. I choose where I want to live, how to decorate my home, what to grow in my yard.

I don't always remember to be thankful for these choices. Too often, I take them for granted. Today, though, I acknowledge how unbelievably lucky, blessed, and privileged I am. I know that there are millions of people on Earth who do not have the choices I do. For so many, food, clean water, clothing, and shelter are not choices - they are inconsistent, inadequate, or non-existent realities. They are distant dreams.

I don't know why I have been so blessed to live where I do, to have the freedoms and choices I do. But I believe that with these blessings comes a great responsibility to share. Over the next few days, I'll tell you about some of the organizations and people that help me share what I have with others.

What choices are you thankful for today?

Day 2 - 30 Days of Thanks: The Ocean

2010-11-02T00:53:00.000-04:00

"When anxious, uneasy and bad thoughts come, I go to the sea, and the sea drowns them out with its great wide sounds, cleanses me with its noise, and imposes a rhythm upon everything in me that is bewildered and confused."
- Rainer Maria Rilke

Over the last few years, life has become a whole lot busier and more complicated for my little family. Between work, school, after-school, swimming lessons, soccer, play dates, and errands, the weeks seem to fly by. I can get overwhelmed by all the activity.

I cope by going to the ocean as much as possible.

There have been so many Sundays when I've felt the need to head to the shore, and my family indulges the call. So, we pack up a bunch of snacks, changes of shoes and socks, and my trusty bucket for collecting rocks, shells, and sea glass. We throw everything into the car, drive 45 minutes to Gloucester or Rockport, and spend a few hours watching the waves, turning over rocks to look for crabs and snails, building sand castles, and climbing the rocks along the beach cliffs.

My favorite part is when I get to sit with the sea spray on my face, taking it all in and watching my boys explore the beach together.

A always laughs at me because, whenever we're at the ocean, I get all giddy and smiley and I hop and dance around with glee. I thank him for indulging me in these spontaneous trips, but the truth is that he and R love it just as much as I do. Especially R. The ocean is part of his young soul already. I love that he and I share that. When the wind is just right at home, which is a few miles inland from the water, we'll smell the ocean in the air. R always turns to me and says, "The ocean is calling to us, Mama."

It is hard to express how thankful I am for the ocean and the beach and for what they do for my soul. And, I'm equally thankful for the fact that I live close enough to be able to enjoy them year-round. (My favorite times to head to the water are on cold, overcast, and rainy days. It seems even more beautiful to me then.)

What part of nature speaks to you?

Thankfulness in Action
Here are two organizations working to preserve our oceans and the delicate balance of marine life:

Day 1 - 30 Days of Thanks: Sisters

2010-11-01T00:40:00.000-04:00

Welcome to 30 Days of Thanks! Although I was tempted to start off my series by giving thanks for Halloween candy, I decided instead to kick things off by focusing on some of the most precious women in my life.

I am blessed to have two sisters. When we were growing up together, we often didn't get along, but today, Johanna and Ericka are my closest friends. We rarely see each other these days because we're spread out across the eastern United States, and sometimes weeks go by in between our phone calls, but we always know that we love each other. We are three very different women - in personality, talents, and life paths - but we have one major thing in common: our family. Our family has been through some pretty difficult and crazy times (whose hasn't?), and through it all, my sisters and I have coped and supported each other, usually with laughter.

I am so thankful for and proud of these two beautiful, smart, and kind women. Ericka just completed her Ph.D. in neuroscience and has relocated to another new city. Johanna is raising three brilliant boys, trying to give them the best opportunities in life in spite of many challenges. My sisters are resilient, strong, and two of the funniest people I know.

One of our family's Christmas traditions was watching "It's a Wonderful Life" (of course!) and "White Christmas." We used to quote from those movies a lot. So, here is one of those memories, in thankfulness for my sisters. :-)

I have also been blessed with several women in my life who are like sisters to me. What sisters (biological or otherwise) are you thankful for today?

Thankfulness in Action
In honor of sisters, friends who are like sisters, and all the other wonderful women in my life, I want to share two ways that you can support breast cancer research:

My friend City Girl, who is undergoing chemo now for breast cancer and who keeps her optimism, thankfulness, huge heart, and sense of humor through it all
My friend Christine, who has formed a team for the Komen Foundation 3-Day Walk to celebrate her 15th anniversary of being free from breast cancer in 2011

Coming in November: 30 Days of Thanks

2010-10-27T00:28:00.000-04:00

I'm starting a blog project on November 1st. Each day, I'll share something I'm thankful for - not very original, I know, but my plan is to make this project a little unique by also highlighting some related organizations or people that are doing important work and that I think are worth learning more about and supporting.

So, that's the plan. Let me know if you'd like to join me!

Breakfast for a Chilly Saturday: Pannukakku (Baked Pancake)

2010-10-23T23:14:00.000-04:00

Does Fall unleash your inner chef? I love baking and cooking year-round, but Fall is when I wake up giddy thinking about what to make that day. It's when I pore over cookbooks and recipes in magazines. It's when I make soups and stews and roast chicken on Sunday afternoons. (Tomorrow afternoon will be pork chops with cabbage and apples and roasted beet salad with gorgonzola.)

This morning, I wanted to make something hearty for breakfast. I also wanted to use up some eggs because we had 13 eggs in the fridge, with a half-dozen more coming on Wednesday with my weekly Boston Organics delivery.

I've stumbled across a few blogs recently focusing on Swedish and Scandinavian design (check out red.house and My Scandinavian Retreat for some amazing photographs and ideas) and, besides making me want to hop on a plane to Sweden and then completely redecorate my house starting first by painting all the walls white, they have made me hungry for Scandinavian foods.

So, on this chilly morning with eggs to use and a lonely oven, I dug into my Swedish cookbooks and decided on this one:

The Great Scandinavian Baking Book by Beatrice Ojakangas

I found the perfect recipe: Baked Pancake (Pannukakku), which the book says is popular in all of Scandinavia. It was so easy to make - a bunch of eggs, flour, milk, and a touch of sugar and salt. (If you want the detailed recipe, let me know!)

Whisk everything together and then let the batter rest for half an hour, though I wasn't quite that patient.

The recipe called for melting basically an entire stick of butter in the pan in the preheating oven. I did that, but next time I'll probably use half that or less. We ended up with puddles of butter on top of the pancake - glorious, but my body isn't used to that much fat in the morning anymore and the extra fat didn't help much with the pancake sticking to the pan, so it seemed unnecessary. (That may be the first time in my life that I've referred to butter as unnecessary.)

Coat the pan with the melted butter, then pour in the batter, and bake at 450 for 15-20 minutes.

Beautiful, huge golden pancake with butter pools. Look at those lovely crisp peaks around the edges!

I served it with strawberries, blackberries, and homemade whipped cream. The pancake was wonderfully eggy and slightly sweet.

Velvety, decadent breakfast - perfect for a chilly Fall morning.

A and I devoured half of it, R tried a few bites (he liked the crunchy edges best), and I saved the rest for tomorrow. I'm hoping it reheats well.

This was definitely a special occasion breakfast for us. (It would be perfect for Christmas morning.) It was much richer and sweeter than our everyday breakfast. But we enjoyed it very much, and all those eggs gave us the protein we needed later in the day to make it through the huge corn maze at Connors Farm!

Next up in my Scandinavian cooking adventures: Swedish oat cookies and coffee bread

What are you making or craving this Fall?

Sweet dreams

2010-10-21T09:23:00.000-04:00

I still check on R almost every night before I turn in for bed. With the nights on the chilly side now and probably 10 days to go before we turn on the heat, R usually needs some blanket adjustments or additions. He moves around a lot in his sleep, and his room gets pretty cold. Sometimes I find his blanket on the floor and him curled up in the fetal position on his bed. I guide him back up to his pillow, lay his heavy blanket on him, and watch him visibly relax and snuggle into the warmth.

R knows I do this - because I tell him - but he almost never wakes up or remembers it the next day. Almost.

Last night was one of those rare nights where I walked in his room and heard him say softly, "Hi, Mommy." That was all. I covered him up, kissed his head, and wished him a good night.

It's amazing, the power of words and sound. That sweet, small voice and those simple words melted away all the stresses of the day, the ones I was going to agonize over before falling asleep. In that sleepy voice was pure love and trust and peace. It washed over me and set my mind at ease. It reminded me that no matter what ridiculous stuff happens in life beyond our home, above all, I'm a mom and I am loved.

I don't know when I'll stop checking on R at night. I'm betting in a few years he won't want me to do it or he'll be really annoyed that I do.

But for now, I'll keep checking. And listening for that small, sweet voice.

Not Quite Wordless Wednesday: Fall Colors Around Town

2010-10-20T00:01:00.010-04:00

No matter what is going on in life, I can't help but be encouraged and thrilled by the beauty of the world around me - especially at this time of year.

Early morning sight behind my neighbors' house. It looked like the willow trees were on fire!

My favorite tree in town. Always an amazing color show.

Even half bare, this tree behind the library took my breath away.

Despite record high temperatures this summer and virtually no rain, the trees are putting on their usual show. Nature is so resilient!

How are the fall colors where you are?

Sugar and spice and everything nice

2010-10-16T21:50:00.001-04:00

What a great day! We didn't do anything out of the ordinary, but it was filled with nice things and time with my boys. I needed that.

While R and A were off at R's swimming lesson, I cleaned the bathroom, vacuumed and Swiffered, dusted, and ran two loads of laundry. I can't remember the last time I was that productive in just 45 minutes! That was a nice feeling.

After lunch, we headed to the mall to find accessories for R's Halloween costume (he wants to be an Army guy). A and I were giddy to discover that the long-awaited Sur La Table had finally opened! While R whined and laid on the floor (until I told him that if he kept doing that, we weren't going to the Lego store), A and I shopped in heaven. Oh my word, that is the best kitchen/cooking/food shop ever created. I picked up just a few little things - a demitasse spoon for R (he finally came around and found some things he liked), letter cookie cutters to spell out R's name, and a little ceramic spice jar that we plan to use for storing our kosher salt. Isn't it sweet?

While I was paying at the register, an employee came over and asked A if he would be interested in a cappuccino. Um, hello - me, too! The guy demonstrated two different espresso/cappuccino makers for us (one of them cost $3,000!), and I enjoyed a lovely little free cup of decaf cappuccino while A had his espresso.

A and I are planning to go back to Sur La Table for our next date night. :-)

After finding R's Army accessories at the party store, we headed to Whole Foods. To keep R's spirits up while we shopped, we saddled up to the gelato counter and got a black raspberry gelato for him and a tiramisu one for us. Oh my, what a perfect sweet treat for the afternoon. Even the tiny cups and spoons were beautiful, so we kept them.

At home again, R and I played a Lego board game and listened to "A Prairie Home Companion" while A made dinner (rotisserie chicken and roasted vegetables - carrots, sweet potato, zucchini, and mushrooms with shallots). The perfect fall meal!

After dinner, we curled up under a blanket (we live in New England where waiting as long as possible to turn on the heat is a source of pride, so sweaters and blankets it is until our family's goal of November 1st) and watched a National Geographic show about the crystal caves of Mexico. R's interest in geology is alive and well, and he was fascinated by the giant crystals and harsh conditions in those amazing caves.

Now, I'm blogging (writing makes me so happy) while sipping a hot mulled cider mixed with blueberry port, and then I'll be poring over the new issue of Whole Living, my new favorite magazine.

I call that a good day. And a blessing.

How was your day?

Time to hop off the carousel

2010-10-14T23:00:00.000-04:00

Life can sometimes feel like this:

Running in circles. Not much changes. Reaching for the golden ring and missing it.

But then...

... things start to take off.

I'm not sure how, but I have this feeling life is about to get really interesting.

In a good way.

And, I'm really excited.

(How's that for vague?)

Switching to Cloth Napkins

2010-10-11T21:53:00.000-04:00

Slowly over the last few months, we've been changing how we live. I've been gently pushing us to create less trash, use all natural things, eat at home. A lot of it is about saving money, but it's also about reducing our impact on the environment and taking better care of ourselves.

Our mini revolution began with napkins.

At Target one day, I picked up a 10-pack of white all-cotton cloth napkins as an experiment. We had been going through paper napkins at an alarming rate, and I wanted to put a stop to it.

The first thing I noticed was that the cloth napkins worked a lot better than paper. R would wipe his face after dinner, and the cloth napkins actually cleaned off the goo. Even he noticed the difference.

Then (oh happy day!), R started putting his napkin on his lap during meals. Cloth napkins stay put in your lap. They don't blow away in the breeze. It's easier for R to keep them in place.

Cloth napkins dress up an otherwise ordinary table. We're not fancy people. I'm not big on tablecloths, and our dishes are casual and hefty. We drink out of small canning jars. So having cloth napkins on the table feels a little more special.

I was worried when I bought the cloth napkins that the extra laundry I'd have to do would cancel out any tree-saving and trash reduction we accomplished. But I've found that I don't really have any more laundry to do than usual. When it's just the three of us, we re-use the cloth napkins quite a bit. Unless they're really soiled, I just refold them with a new clean side out, and we can go a couple of days using the same ones. (Don't worry - if we have company, I put out new napkins.) And, because they're relatively small, they don't take up a lot of space in the laundry, so I really haven't had to add any extra loads to cover them.

I'm really proud and excited of how easy this change was for my family. Now, I stick a cloth napkin in our lunchboxes or any time we're packing along food for the road. If I think we're going to need wipes, I wet a napkin or washcloth and put it in a ziploc to bring along. It's become second nature to me.

But the best part? We haven't bought any paper napkins since my experiment began!

Born to be wild

2010-10-06T22:46:00.000-04:00

A big part of my focus lately as R's parent has been on making sure he has time to be wild. I don't mean crazy and out of control. I mean giving him access to places where he can be free to run, explore, and climb. I mean time outside, not just at the playground or on the paved bike path, but in the woods, at the ocean, in caves, knee-deep in rivers. Places where he can get dirty and wet and where he can find crabs, snails, snakes, bugs, and fish.

It has made a huge difference for R. He needs that time. I wish it could be more often because of the freedom and joy it gives him. It's not like his world at home is full of rules and restrictions, but in wild places, we all seem to relax and breathe easier. I've thought pretty seriously about moving somewhere where R could have that access to nature and wildness daily, instead of just on the weekends or during vacations. But for now, that's all we can give him. At least we're lucky enough to be able to do that.

Last weekend, we visited my dad and walked down to the nearby river. We toted R's fishing rod and Star Wars tackle box, and R and A fished while my dad cooked up hot dogs on a little grill. Using pieces of hot dog for bait, R caught two fish. Hanging out with his dad and grandpa and me, eating in the woods with yellow jackets and mosquitoes for companions, catching fish and learning how to unhook them and let them go again (and that fish are really slimy) -- all of that made for an amazing experience, one that R will always remember.

Suze Orman mentioned on her show the other day some study that found that people end up placing far more value on experiences in their lives than on material things. R and I talked about that this week, and he agreed with the findings. My job as his mom is to make sure he has those memorable experiences. For him, I think most of those experiences will involve wildness and freedom. And, I hope they do -- because I'm realizing he's not the only one who needs to be wild.

Open mouth, insert foot

2010-10-04T12:06:00.000-04:00

On Thursday night, we visited R's school and classroom. And, yeah, apparently, I didn't need to worry AT ALL.

First off, I should have known because R was so excited in advance for us to see his work. That has never happened before. He specifically instructed us to look at his watercolor painting of a castle that was hanging up in the cafeteria, his paper chain, and his self-portrait. In his note to us that was at his seat, he reminded us to look at his paper chain.

It turns out that R's castle painting was one of only four pieces of artwork from the entire kindergarten last year that were selected for display in the cafeteria. And, his teacher told us that the paper chain (which was unbelievably long and intricate) was his idea during choice time in the first week of school, and that R ended up with a team of classmates helping him make it. It was hanging up right outside the classroom door with a handwritten sign that said, "Don't touch it!" That made me chuckle. He is very protective about his things.

The self-portrait was really cool, too! I spotted it as soon as I entered the classroom. He captured all the details of his lightning bolt shirt and did a really good job with his facial features.

All of this made me so proud of him - and so happy that he's proud of himself. What a difference from kindergarten! To top it all off, when we walked around the classroom and saw R's writing examples and thumbed through his writing journal, we realized that R is going to be just fine in that area. He participated fully, writing multiple sentences and drawing very detailed illustrations. And, as an added bonus to me, several of his writing examples included things about how much he loves me, how I'm one of the things that makes him smile (in addition to "doing things I'm not supposed to be doing" - A and I just laughed), and what he was planning to get me for my birthday. That's either pure, innocent sweetness and love for his mama or he's even smarter than I give him credit for.

We're still meeting with his teacher this week, but I feel so much better about his school experience now. Which reminds me... have any of you seen "Waiting for Superman"? The trailer alone made me cry and reminded me how lucky we are to live in a town with good schools. I'm curious to hear what people think of the movie.

One step forward, one step back, and now we're cha-cha-ing

2010-09-28T23:06:00.002-04:00

Last week, I started writing about how great R has been doing. And, for the most part, he is. He started first grade and occupational therapy and an after-school science class and started up again with soccer and swimming. He has a lot of homework - exponentially more than in kindergarten - and he does it willingly and does a good job with it. And, nearly all of it involves writing. He still doesn't love writing, but he does it without the dramatics and arguments and whining and complaining he used in kindergarten (and over the summer). We hadn't even felt the need to have a special meeting with his new teacher (which we fully expected to do when school started) because, from what R had told us, we thought he was participating fully. He talks a lot more this year about projects he's working on, things he's written, etc.

But then his teacher sent home a packet of what he had worked on in school the first two weeks. For all of R's writing assignments, he wrote the shortest possible answers - sometimes one word when he was supposed to be writing 2 or 3 sentences. Argh! So, I emailed his teacher today to set up some time to talk.

I'm frustrated, but trying to stay focused on the improvements I've seen in R. At home, he doesn't get frustrated as easily, and he can even step away sometimes from a frustrating situation. He's told me, "I'm not freaking out, Mommy, I just need to stretch my muscles." He realizes that he needs some physical input, and he makes sure he gets it. He asks us for big bear hugs often.

Even his occupational therapist has been kind of blown away by him. It's like night and day between when he was evaluated and now (four months later). He loves going to therapy because it's a giant playspace - he gets to use a zipline, climb rock walls, jump onto huge inflatable cushions and mattresses, spin around until he's dizzy, make caves out of pillows. Last week, his therapist started working with him on writing, so I'm optimistic about that. She told us that one problem for him is that he holds his pencil much too tightly, in a clenched fist. No one could write for very long like that, so it may explain part of why he doesn't write more than a few words at a time.

I admit I'm having a hard time with all of this. I find it infuriating because I know how smart R is and I'm sure that a big part of his problem is that he just doesn't want to do the work. [Edited to add: OK, that sounds harsh, but I've seen it in action at home. He is fully capable of writing several sentences and drawing a detailed picture when he wants to. Or, building with the tiniest of Legos for hours on end. So, it's hard for me to blame it on fine motor skill issues.] And, I wasn't expecting him to have that attitude this early on in life!

But, he reminds me all the time what an amazing little guy he is - sweet, loving, funny, smart, zany, thoughtful, insightful, and silly. I know I'm blessed to be his mom. Like any parent, I have lots of fears for his future. I just need to set those aside (as many times as it takes) and enjoy him for who he is, the crazy monkey. :-)

Wish I was here

2010-09-24T09:18:00.000-04:00

Waves at Halibut Point State Park, the day after Hurricane Earl blew through

So much good stuff, part 1: Vacation

2010-09-23T09:31:00.000-04:00

It's been so long since I've posted that it's hard to know where to begin, but I'll start with...

My vacations were AMAZING. (Pictures to come!) We went to New Hampshire for a weekend and went hiking at Flume Gorge, climbed through caves (R's absolute favorite part), played mini-golf, shopped for antiques, waded in a river, and had incredible food. We saw a black bear on the side of the road, which was thrilling and a little scary. (It was staring at us, and it was BIG.) Then, I had a week off at home with R and my mom. We went to the Museum of Science, the local pool, met up with A and my co-workers for a nice Restaurant Week lunch in Boston, and puttered around at home. We took my mom out for Chinese hot pot.

But, then, oh then (my heart flutters), we took a heavenly one-week vacation in Gloucester, MA. We rented a carriage house (which was absolutely beautiful, new, and comfortable) that was a short woodsy path away from a little cove, where we swam and explored and collected hermit crabs and green crabs and found tons of sea glass. We found an incredible state park (Halibut Point) in Rockport that borders the ocean and an old quarry, and A and R spent hours building a fort out of small chunks of granite while I watched the waves. We went there the day after Hurricane Earl came through, and the waves were absolutely breathtaking. We found the artists' colony section of Gloucester and ate dinner on the water, watching people walk up to the restaurant from their boats. We ate much ice cream. We found the local coffee shop and bought breakfast there every morning after we first tasted their scones. We walked to the nearest beach, and R learned to skip rocks on the water. We had friends come to visit many times, and we visited friends who live in Gloucester. We toured our friend's woodworking studio and went back to his house for an impromptu fish fry. His wife sent us home with the biggest cucumbers I have ever seen (they were the size - length and girth - of A's forearm).

It was a magical week, the perfect way to end the summer, and we're already planning to go again next year.

My reward

2010-08-14T08:23:00.000-04:00

I survived the 17 days of in-lawdom. The last few days were a bit hairy, but no one was strangled or maimed, so I count that as a success. Now, I have a visit with my own sweet mom coming up, a seaside vacation, and a quick trip to NH for some swimming, hiking, and biking. Then, it'll be back to school and work, back to soccer and swimming lessons, back to the craziness and routine that make the days and months fly by too quickly.

This weekend, though, is my immediate reward. My boys are off on a little adventure, and I have most of a day to myself! I have no set plans yet, but they will definitely include a visit to the gym, some school supplies shopping, some cleaning/organizing at home, a haircut, and (Lord willing) a nap. I'll be missing my boys by the end of it, but for a few blessed hours, I'll be enjoying my sweet reward.

As a mom, it has taken me a long time to appreciate having time to myself. Until pretty recently, I never wanted time away from R. Even when he was an infant, I didn't want anyone else besides A and me to hold him. I wanted to be with him constantly.

Part of that was probably guilt at spending so much time away from him while I was at work. But I felt even from day one that he was MY RESPONSIBILITY alone and that even taking a shower was being a little bit selfish. How crazy is that?

I don't really regret it now, although I do wish I had been a little kinder to myself. If I had allowed myself breaks more often, I might have been less stressed and moody and less ready to get angry at A.

What opened my eyes for good was joining a gym a few weeks ago. There was a deal through work for a gym that has many locations around the Boston area, including one two blocks away from my office and one just down the street from my house. That was hard to pass up. So, my friend at work and I made a pact to join and go together.

I finally understand why people love going to the gym! (Or, at least why moms do.) I have an hour where I can pop in my headphones and block out the world - no one needs me, and I can focus on my own health. The exercise is exhilarating. I love feeling like I'm getting stronger and healthier each time. And, my mood has improved so much overall!

It's an addictive feeling. On the days where I plan to go to the gym but can't make it because of work or other things that come up, it makes me sad. So far, though, my friend and I have been able to squeeze in time here and there during lunch, after work, and early on Saturdays. We try to go at least 3 times a week.

So, I'm going to enjoy and treasure my time at the gym this weekend and my time on my own without my boys - without guilt. The alone time makes me a better mom, a better wife, and a better person. (Plus, my house will stay clean for at least an hour, instead of the usual 10 seconds.)

And, on the flip side, my boys get to spend some great father-son time together. It's a win for everybody.

Happy weekend, everyone! I'm off to pack my gym bag...

The boy blew my cover(ing)

2010-07-30T22:38:00.001-04:00

My in-laws are visiting for 17 DAYS. Not that I'm counting or anything, but we're only on day 4. (Lord, help me...)

In preparation for their visit, which only happens every couple of years, I went nuts on our house -- organizing, cleaning, sprucing things up. It was absolutely exhausting, but I'm really pleased with how things look right now. Our sun porch, which is also our entryway, used to be a dumping ground for everything we couldn't fit in the house. It's where we had the trash can, recycling, extra pots and pans, our second fridge, R's bike, all of our shoes, outside toys, etc. It was a mess. So I cleaned it all up, threw out a bunch of stuff, brought all the kitchenware back into the kitchen, and even created a little place to sit and put on shoes. The porch needs a coat of paint and a new rug (and a new ceiling and light fixture and...), but it looks 1000 times better than it did. It's open and airy and clean now, and when you enter our house, it actually looks inviting. Yay!

In the living room, I organized 90% of the Lego sets and put them in bins, updated my mantlescape with new framed photos and artwork, and put gifts from the in-laws on display. The coffee table is still covered in Legos, but since it's really the only place for R to play and spread out, that's fine with me.

For the kitchen, I picked up two new tablecloths and a few sets of cloth napkins. We've been using cloth napkins as much as possible recently to save paper, but usually we just use plain white ones. I turn them inside out and refold them repeatedly so we can use them several times before I wash them. (Is that gross?) But, with company here, I wanted to have something nicer. We're not tablecloth people normally, except for major holidays. Okay, really, just on Thanksgiving. Our kitchen table is beat up and nicked and has white rings on it, and we don't mind at all. I like furniture that looks well-loved and used. But A's family is a lot more formal. They use the nice china and tablecloths and crystal every time they entertain.

So, on Wednesday evening after all my preparations, we had A's parents over for dinner. We had a really nice visit and dinner together. (The next night was another matter, but I digress...) Here's what I learned, though: Never to try to pretend that you live differently than you actually do. Because after I had set the table for dinner, R wandered through the kitchen and exclaimed in earshot of my mother-in-law, "Wow, Mommy! What is this thing on the table? It's so nice! Where did you get it? It looks so special! I really like the covering! Look at these fancy napkins!"

What could I do but laugh? I love my sweet little man. Even when he totally rats me out. :-)

New possibilities and more

2010-07-15T22:10:00.000-04:00

I was talking to someone about the recent positive changes in my relationship with A, and she said that because I was open to changes there, I'll probably start seeing new opportunities cropping up all around me soon.

Photo: open window...... by karenwithak

Boy, was that the truth!

I was feeling unfulfilled and bored at work. Now, I've got several new opportunities in front of me at my company that have me feeling energized and excited again.

I was feeling overwhelmed and isolated because of R's sensory issues. Then, I found a Yahoo group and other SI parents' blogs. And, while I've been thinking about starting a second blog just to write about our journey with R's issues and his therapy, just reading about the severity of other children's SI issues made me realize that R's are really not that big a deal. I feel so badly for other families' struggles with this, but at the same time, I'm so thankful that our struggle is pretty minimal by comparison. It put everything in perspective and made it feel manageable again.

There have even been lots of little things. A great deal through work for joining a local gym came up, so my friend and I agreed to join and force each other to go. We started this week, and I loved it! Then, I noticed a neighbor throwing out a bunch of stuff one day, and I snagged a sweet little side table. It was dark green and needed some sanding, but I've since painted it white (it's drying from the last coat now), and it will look so nice... somewhere in my house. :-)

So, you know that saying, "When God closes a door, He opens a window"? In my case, He's throwing open windows all over. And, moving in some new furniture. :-)

I wonder what other new possibilities He's got in store...

Sure, crickets are nice...

2010-07-11T07:30:00.003-04:00

On Friday night, I got together with six women who were my closest friends from elementary school. I drove to my hometown 45 miles away to meet up with everyone at the house of one friend who still lives there.

It was a really nice night. We reminisced and laughed about the past, shared information and updates about people we grew up with, and told our stories about our jobs, kids, spouses, families. I was so impressed by how confident, smart, and accomplished each woman was.

Everyone seemed to be generally at ease with their lives and choices, but each person (myself included!) also seemed a teensy bit jealous of a different life. The stay-at-home moms lamented the loss of their careers and lack of independence financially, the working-outside-the-home moms wished they could have more time with their kids. Nearly everyone admitted they don't do enough other stuff outside of work or parenting (except for one friend who works out all the time and does 100-mile charity bike rides with her husband!).

And, I couldn't help admiring the hosting friend's house and yard - so much bigger and more updated than mine. Our hometown is a lot more affordable than where I live. Her kids have a lot more room to move inside and outside. Her neighborhood was SO quiet, with just crickets chirping and birds singing at night, with an occasional car passing by.

As I drove home late on Friday night, I wondered if I had made the right choices. Maybe I should have returned to my hometown to raise my family? We could have bought a bigger house with more land, could have been nearer the ocean, could have taken the commuter rail to work. Maybe even if my family wasn't there (although maybe some of them would have stuck around longer or permanently), running into high school friends and their parents on a regular basis would have felt more like home.

But then I drove up to this:

(Photo from Babson.edu)

And this:

(Photo from Ignite Boston!)

And this:

(Photo from The Rundown with Teddy Minch)

Every time I come home to Boston after being away (even, apparently, for a few hours), I feel so happy and peaceful inside. It's home to me.

And, even though I don't live in the city proper anymore (I'm just a few miles outside), the city is still a huge part of my life. Of course, I work there, but it's more than that. It's the subway and the museums and the Common and the shopping and restaurants, and it's the culture and diversity and "metropolitan-ness" I love. And, I'm glad it's part of R's life, too. Yes, we have a small house and a relatively small yard, but we can be in the city in about 10 minutes. Or, we can hop on the bus and ride the T to get pretty much wherever we want. (And, when you have a boy who was obsessed with trains as a toddler, riding the subway is an exciting adventure in itself!) And, we do. We'll decide spur of the moment to go to the Museum of Science or to Castle Island or to the Boston 4th of July fireworks. (On the 4th, we decided at 9:15 to go to the fireworks that were starting at 10:30. We drove for 15 minutes, parked in a $7 garage, walked two blocks, and had the most perfect view of the Boston skyline from the Cambridge side of the Charles River. We were smack in front of the fireworks barge and surrounded by hundreds of thousands of people. It was WONDERFUL!)

So, yes the grass can be greener in the suburbs. But the city is a whole lot more sparkly. :-)

The Face

2010-06-28T22:25:00.000-04:00

When R was a toddler, he would often give us "the face." If he was frustrated or annoyed, he'd tilt his head down, frown, and peer at us from underneath his furrowed brow. And, sometimes, he'd make that face just to be cute. It was pretty darn adorable.

A couple of weeks ago when it was crazy hot outside, I made popsicles from some strawberries and raspberries that we needed to eat up. (My new favorite food and mom blogger Melissa at Another Lunch inspired me.) I pureed them with some ice, a bit of seltzer, and half a can of San Pellegrino Aranciata. I filled our very small popsicle tray, but still had a lot of puree left over. So, I grabbed an empty yogurt cup, filled it, covered it with plastic wrap, poked a wooden popsicle stick through the plastic, and set it in the freezer.

A few days later when I handed the popsicle to R (after we both giggled at the sheer size of it), he asked me to grab the camera and take his picture.

I give you: The Return of the Face!

It took three days for R to finish the thing, but it was very refreshing!

All Good Things...

2010-06-22T23:03:00.001-04:00

Tomorrow is R's last day of kindergarten. He's very excited, mostly because he can't wait for summer camp. Every time R mentions that tomorrow is the last day, he looks at me, and asks, "Why are you sad, Mommy?"

I'm sad because I will miss R's teacher and her support and her patience with R and her appreciation of his talents and personality. We don't know yet if she'll still have a job in the fall, but I pray every day that she will.

I'm sad because several of R's close friends are moving away - to Sweden, to neighboring towns, to France. And, a few more of them are going to their home countries for almost the entire summer.

I'm sad because R and I won't have Thursdays off together this summer. (Camp is 5 days a week for 8 weeks, from 8:10 to 4:30 between the bus ride and actual camp time.) That means less time for going to the beach, the Museum of Science, the sprinkler park.

Mostly I'm sad that my little man is another year older.

We went to see Toy Story 3 on Father's Day, and there's a part in the movie where the mom goes into now grown-up Andy's room after he's packed everything up to head to college. His room is nearly empty, and he's leaving. And, it hit me that some day, R will pack up his things and go to college and probably never live with us again. (Unless the economy hasn't turned around by then...) And, I cried.

I'm proud of R and of all he has learned this year. He learned to read and to write full sentences. He became a whiz at math and strengthened his fascination with science. He developed a love for art - and gym class. He made tons of new friends of all ages, ethnicities, and cultures. He adapted to so many new experiences and was recognized for his deep empathy and for his kindness to his classmates. He had an amazing year.

Still, when R announced tonight that he had visited the first grade classrooms today, my heart broke a little. But it mended later when R told me that he never wants to go to college if it means he won't be able to live with me anymore.

Luckily, Harvard and MIT are only a short bus ride away. ;-)

A Glimpse of Chez Fieryboots: Jars, Jars, Jars

2010-06-21T22:41:00.000-04:00

I love canning jars. When I first learned about eBay about 10 years ago, I got a bit obsessed and bought several old blue canning jars. I would have kept bidding on and buying more until I visited several local antiques stores and discovered that old canning jars are pretty common. So I didn't need to shell out extra money to have them shipped to me.

My favorites are the old blue ones - Mason and Ball jars - but I have a few clear, newer ones as well. And, after A and I stopped canning our own preserves, we decided to use all the little jelly jars as drinking glasses. My father-in-law always makes fun of them, but I love them. They're durable and inexpensive and casual, and they fit in well with our style.

We definitely have a canning jar theme going on in our house.

This one is filled with sand and shells from our beach excursions

(The little jar holds my sea glass collection)

This one houses a small portion of R's extensive rock collection

I keep this one on the mantel where I can easily drop in stray rocks that R leaves everywhere

This one is in the kitchen window, holding more beach shells and stones and sea glass

(The rectangular vase holds magnetic letters and numbers that R no longer uses - I love how colorful they are)

So, when the Nester listed these Mason jar soap dispensers by Midwest Finds as one of her favorite summer Etsy finds, I had to have one!

Here's my new soap dispenser for the bathroom sink:

I'm in love.

As soon as they're back in stock, I'll have to get another one for my dishwashing soap!

God is an awesome DJ

2010-06-19T08:52:00.000-04:00

Thank you for your prayers after my recent post about A and me. They definitely worked.

It's so strange to be in this very dark place and to be losing hope for so long and to start feeling like something drastic and bad is going to happen, and then the clouds clear and there is hope again. I feel almost silly - as if I shouldn't have been so upset - because things are so much better, it's like there was never a problem, so what was I worrying about?

But, really, things between A and me were very bad for a long time, and I felt like I was drowning. I had reached the point where I wasn't even sure what to pray for anymore. I felt numb and completely alone. And, I've found in my life, that that's where God steps in. Not that he's not stepping in the whole time, but I guess for me it's more noticeable when I'm a sack of despair and pity and anger and other assorted yuck, and then I wake up one morning and I feel as if I've been placed on a beautiful beach with sunshine, warm sand, the smell of the ocean, and sparkling water. Life just seems different.

So that's where I've been this week. I realized A and I weren't operating like a couple. We were two people living together, but doing our own thing - as if we were roommates, not partners. My tendency when someone is frustrating me or disappointing me is to think, "Well - I'm just going to have to do X myself!" And, that's what I was doing. About EVERYTHING. And, I was throwing myself into raising R as if I was a single parent. Everything else sucked, but it didn't matter because R was wonderful and he was the center of my life.

And, then R's issues at school were identified, and we started seeing some behavioral problems with him getting along with his friends when he was frustrated. The "perfect" part of my life was disintegrating, and I felt completely overwhelmed by it. Because I was trying to deal with it all on my own, and I couldn't.

Then, last week, I read an article and blog post about how putting your marriage first (instead of your kids) is actually good for your kids. It talked about how when people aren't doing so great in their marriage, they focus all their attention on their kids, and that attention is too much - you end up helicopter parenting. And, the kids pick up on the seemingly hidden tension in the home, and problems crop up.

That article was a big, painful slap in the face. But I needed it. Because I was thinking that I was hiding how unhappy I was from R, but of course he noticed. And, when I thought about it, he had been trying to compensate. He had been extra snuggly and cuddly with both A and me recently, telling us both separately how much he loves us, stroking my arm very tenderly, things like that. He was making up for the love that was missing between A and me. And, the absolute last thing on Earth I want is for my problems to affect my child.

After reading that post and benefiting from your prayers - something just clicked. I reached out to A in a way I hadn't in a long time, and I feel like we're a team again. Of course, our team's a little weak and out of practice right now, but I'm hopeful that will change. We still have a lot to talk about and figure out - but I finally feel like we can do that together in a positive, constructive way.

*************

On Thursday, I was listening to the radio in the car when U2's "One" came on. I love that song, but it's one of those songs for me where I know all the words, but haven't a clue what they mean. This time I heard these parts in particular - and not in the right order:

Too late
Tonight
To drag the past out into the light
We're one, but we're not the same
We get to
Carry each other
Carry each other

You gave me nothing
Now it's all I got
We're one
But we're not the same
Well we
Hurt each other
Then we do it again

One love
One life
When it's one need
In the night
One love
We get to share it
Leaves you baby if you
Don't care for it

And, I knew God was in the DJ's booth that morning.

The "we're one, but we're not the same" part really struck me. Because that's what marriage is. Two people who aren't the same, who have different personalities and needs and ways of coping, trying to be one. And, that's really freaking hard. It goes against our individual natures (or, at least it goes against mine!). It takes work trying to make one good thing out of two messes. And, if you don't tend to that one thing, it falls apart.

A and I have a lot of tending to do. And, I need to stop deciding that when things get tough, I can do it all by myself. Because I can't. Neither can A. And, I'm guessing that's why God made sure A and I found each other in the first place.

Four days left!

2010-06-17T20:49:00.000-04:00

I cannot believe that my little man is only 4 school days away from the end of kindergarten! How did this happen?!?

Last week, his school had Field Day. There's a great picture on the bulletin board at school of R and one of his good friends during the tug-o-war. Tonight was the family BBQ, which was SO much fun. Not only was there tons of food, but there was also a bouncy house, cotton candy, slush, a DJ, carnival-type games, balloon sculptures, and - best of all - a dunk tank.

R actually wore his bathing suit and swim goggles to the BBQ because he wanted to go in the dunk tank so badly. But since it was drizzly and cool and we didn't think to bring a towel with us, we made him wait for the dunk tank until right before we were heading home.

He waited in line patiently with one of his classmates. She chickened out when it was her turn, so R was up.

He didn't have a very long turn, and the water was FREEZING, but R absolutely loved it.

Surprises Three

2010-06-14T14:58:00.000-04:00

The Spandex Surprise
Yesterday, we made plans with friends to go on a casual family bike ride on our local bike path. Well, A and I thought it was going to be casual. We figured that with four adults, two 6-year-olds, and a 1-year-old that it would be a leisurely ride. So, we strapped the bikes on the car, packed some snacks and water, and put on jeans and sweatshirts (it was cool and drizzly).

When we pulled into our friends' driveway, the dad/husband appeared from the garage with his bike. And, he was completely decked out in one of those one-piece professional-looking Lycra biking suits(? I don't even know what they're called) that leave little to the imagination, plus biking shoes and gloves. A and I had to keep ourselves from laughing. Our friends are from Italy, and they keep inviting us on excursions like this, and the dad tells us that he hasn't been skiing/to the beach/biking/etc. in 15 years, so he's out of practice, blah blah blah. And, then we get to the mountain/beach/trail, and he whips around at top speed and looks like he practices every weekend. He almost got me killed when we went skiing and he convinced me to go on what he called a "family trail" that turned out to be what I now refer to as Scary Death/I'm Never Going Skiing Again Trail.

A turned to me on Sunday morning and jokingly said, "Hey, he's Italian! What do you expect?" And, we had fun riding 7 miles all together - at which point, my little family was about to drop. (R actually asked to go home, where he promptly fell asleep on my lap for an hour!) The other dad rode for 2 more hours after the rest of us stopped. Darn show-off! :-)

Lost My Appetite Surprise
Recently, I started reading a cooking blog written by a couple that lives in my town. I didn't know who they were, but I heard about the blog from our town's email discussion list, checked it out, and liked it enough to read it occasionally. Their tastes aren't quite like mine, but I liked reading their posts and admiring their nice food photos.

This morning, I found they had posted a few pictures of themselves. I couldn't help yelling out, "NOOOOOOO!!!!" Because I recognized this couple. They often ride the same bus as A and me in the morning. And, every time I see them get on, I groan. (And, I'm not the sole groaner.) Because they are very, shall I say, amorous on the bus. Which doesn't necessarily annoy me, but they always sit right in the front of the bus (in the seats that you're supposed to save for older folks, people with babies, people with disabilities, etc.) and put on their "show" for everyone to see. If they were teenagers, I think I would just shrug it off. But they are probably in their late 30s! And, yes, it's wonderful that they are so affectionate and in love with each other at this point in their lives, but it feels really weird and icky to see them kissing and nuzzling and stroking each other during the entire bus ride. Plus, if someone who is elderly or has a baby or crutches does get on, neither of them get up to give up their seat, which makes me really mad.

So, I'm all done with that blog. Anyone have some Pepto?

Friendly Skies Surprise
I have two weeks off at the end of the summer, and my mom hasn't been up to visit in about two years, so I wanted to buy her tickets to come spend time with me and R. I checked flight prices several times, and I hemmed and hawed because the prices were fluctuating, and I couldn't always find good times or non-stop flights. After conferring with my mom several times, I decided one night to just buy the darn things and get it over with - especially since my mom needed to know which days to take off from her job.

Now, normally, I am VERY good with details. Of course, I make mistakes in my life, but not usually about dates, times, things that need to be brought to school, etc. Well, apparently, that's changing. Or else I shouldn't ever do anything online after 9 pm. Because I bought the tickets last week, called my mom and gave her all the info, and didn't think anything more about it ... until I went to put the info on our wall calendar at home yesterday. And, I realized that I bought the tickets for the week before my vacation -- when I would be working and R would still be in camp. Doh!

I changed the dates this morning. On the bright side, now my mom doesn't have to change planes, and the times still worked out pretty well. But it cost me a heck of a lot of money to make the change. Argh. Mostly, I'm just SO mad at myself for making such a dumb mistake. But I guess I need to get used to it. Last week, we were all set to go to a big music festival that our friend's son was organizing. When we called our friend to get the last-minute details about the next day, she said, "What the heck are you talking about?" The festival is THIS weekend.

Maybe I just need more sleep.

And fewer surprises, thank you. :-)

A quick request

2010-06-10T13:34:00.000-04:00

Hey, there. I just wanted to post a little prayer (or happy thoughts, if you're not the praying kind) request. A and I are having a difficult time right now. I've been pretty sad and angry with him for awhile, and the last week or so has been the worst, unfortunately exacerbated by a lot of sadness and change going on around us -- R's teacher being laid off, his two best friends moving away, people leaving my company in droves for better jobs, etc.

R continues to be the light of our lives, which is wonderful. But if you could remember A and me to God today, I'd be so grateful.

Happier post to come soon, I promise!

Little things CAN make a difference

2010-05-27T13:20:00.000-04:00

I love when simple opportunities come up for me to actually do something to help others, and the We Are THAT Family blog is a great place to find those opportunities.

This week, Kristen from We Are THAT Family is organizing an effort to make pillow case dresses for girls in Africa, where she recently went on a trip with the Compassion organization. I can't sew, but I can donate pillow cases and other sewing items and more for other people to make the dresses. How easy is that?!? Read Kristen's post to find out about the effort and what you can do!

I sponsor two boys through Compassion, both of whom are around R's age - one lives in Uganda, the other in Haiti. (Please pray for both of them!) I've received two photos of one of my boys - in both pictures, he was wearing new clothes that he was very happy and proud of and that he wrote to me about. One of the outfits he bought with his money for Christmas, along with a goat for his family, some soap, a cake, and a soda. But in both pictures, he's wearing girls' shoes. Maybe he doesn't know or maybe he does and it doesn't bother him - I don't know. But that just broke my heart. Especially when I think about how much I spend on R's shoes. Or, how much teasing a boy would endure here for wearing pink girls sneakers. So, helping with the pillow case dresses is a connection for me to my "son" in Uganda, to children in Africa, a small, yet powerful way that I can help.

If you know of other projects like this, please share!

Just beachy

2010-05-17T22:22:00.001-04:00

We've been so lucky with the weather recently! On Sunday, we headed up to Gloucester to check out another beach with some friends. It was perfectly sunny, warm, and breezy. The beach was absolutely beautiful. Clean, sparkly sand, big rocks for climbing on, and WARM water. We waded in the ocean almost the whole time. Unbelievable for May in New England!

R played and ran and splashed and climbed non-stop. He and his friend had so much fun together. It made me happy and relieved. R has been having some bad episodes recently where he can't control his frustration - usually because of schoolwork or disagreements with friends. So, giving him the opportunity to run and be free and get dirty and wet and explore to his heart's content gives my heart peace.

Because we've been going up to Gloucester so much, we decided to spend a week of our summer vacation there. I found a beautiful carriage house for rent that's steps away from the ocean, with tons of room (including bunk beds for R and friends), a fireplace, Weber grill and patio, and a jacuzzi tub. So it'll be a fun way to end the summer after R's camp is over and before school begins. We can hit the beaches, go on a whale watch, go hiking and rockhounding, and check out the shops and antique stores in Rockport. I can't wait!

Weekend adventures

2010-05-07T22:39:00.000-04:00

Last weekend was so nice! It was darn hot around here (in the 90s!), so after soccer and swimming lessons and a bit of weeding and mulching, my boys and I headed up to Gloucester for some rock-climbing, beachcombing, sea glass-hunting, and dinner-eating by the water. We've been doing that a lot recently, even during the wintertime. We really love it up there. It makes me happy to see R have so much freedom to climb and run and explore. (Although we did have to give him a time out for leaping from rock to rock and running way ahead of us on the cliffs.) I found tons of sea glass, as well as some beautiful beach rocks that I brought home to place in my garden.

My boys on the cliffs - see how R is scampering ahead?

R throws rocks into the ocean

The sun was very bright :-)

Sunday was my trip to Salvage Chic with my friend, Brenda. Oh boy, that shop had me written all over it. I could have spent hours browsing and re-browsing through every nook and cranny. I have to go back with A. Brenda was very patient and helped talk me through a few potential purchases, but her decorative and furniture taste is really more modern, so she didn't buy anything for herself. She kept cracking up, though, at the number of items in the shop that she had had in her house growing up.

I went in there looking for some little table or shelves that I could use in my microscopic bathroom. I ended up getting two sunny yellow shelves, a white tool tray, and a tiny box of magnets (for R).

Unfortunately, when I got everything home, I discovered that the shelves are too long for where I wanted to put them. But I'll find another place. I'm still trying to figure out how I want to use the tool tray (any suggestions?), although it will probably become a Lego organizer like pretty much every other storage item in our house.

This weekend, my boys are heading out for some Mother's Day shopping, which means I'll have the house to myself for a few hours. Normally I would watch some HGTV or Pride & Prejudice and take a much-needed nap, but my house is such a mess that I'm going to spend the time cleaning. That will make me so happy. On Sunday, we're going out for brunch and then we're going to work in the yard if the weather cooperates.

Happy Mother's Day to all my mom friends and family! God bless you for all you do!

Good times ahead

2010-04-30T23:30:00.000-04:00

I'm so excited for the weekend. Not just because it's going to be warm and sunny and wonderful (no freezing my butt off at soccer in the morning - woohoo!), but because I'm meeting up with an old friend on Sunday to go antiquing and grab some lunch. We're heading to an antiques shop that I've been dying to check out for almost a year. I'm leaving A and R to fend for themselves for the day without a car, but I think they'll be fine. :-)

I also picked up Jennifer Weiner's Certain Girls last night, so I've got a fun, stay-up-all-night-reading-because-I-can't-put-it-down book.

Have a great weekend! I'll let you know what treasures I find.

Meteorite Men -- and Boys!

2010-04-29T12:16:00.001-04:00

Have you ever seen the show "Meteorite Men" on the Science Channel? If you haven't, you must! A and R found it one day while channel surfing, and we've been hooked ever since. Of course, R was already obsessed with (1) anything to do with space and (2) rocks, so it wasn't too much of a surprise that he'd like the show, but I find myself watching it (and DVRing it) when R is in bed because it's just so interesting and entertaining.

It follows these two very funny guys, Geoff and Steve, as they hunt for meteorites in different locations around the U.S. (from what I've seen so far). They talk about their equipment and the science of it all, but mostly it's just the two of them cracking jokes and teasing each other as they hunt, getting frustrated when they don't find anything, and getting excited when they do. My favorite episode so far was when they hunted for three days without finding anything and then on their drive back, they spotted a whole mess of meteorites just laying on the dirt road! Crazy!

This show has had quite an impact on our little family. R hunts for meteorites wherever he goes. He's planning to make a meteorite hunting stick (walking stick with a big magnet attached to the bottom), similar to the ones Geoff and Steve use on the show. (R actually requested that we get him a pick axe like theirs, but we figured a 6-year-old doesn't need a pick axe quite yet. Maybe next year.)

I think I mentioned a little while ago that R thought he found a meteorite on the street. He and I were walking home from school one day, and he crouched down, picked up a rock, and insisted it was a meteorite. I laughed it off, but when we got home, R discovered the rock was magnetic. It's a little rusty, so we know there's iron in it. R and A researched how to identify meteorites online, and they tried a scratch test by scratching the rock on a porcelain tile. It passed. (I can't remember what a meteorite does in the scratch test, but this rock did whatever a meteorite is supposed to do.) In the meantime, R spotted a second rock like the first one in the same location on the street. Then, A ordered a kit that tests for the presence of nickel because meteorites have both iron and nickel in them. And, the nickel test was positive for both rocks! A and R have also dug out the microscope and examined their specimens. And, they've compared R's finds to some real meteorites that we've bought.

R's "meteorites"

Now, we know that the likelihood that these two rocks are meteorites is pretty darn low. I mean, they were just laying on the side of a paved street. It was after our huge, colossal rainstorms and flooding, so maybe there's a slight chance these were unearthed and swept down the street from somewhere else. But, whatever -- R was excited and started telling all his friends. And, because his class was doing a science unit on magnets, R's teacher let him bring the "meteorites" into school.

The next thing I knew, most of the boys in R's class were talking and writing about meteorites, and A even took a few of them on a meteorite hunt on our street. Other parents keep coming up to me and telling me how their kid is constantly looking for meteorites. So cool!

On R's birthday, we took him to the Harvard Museum of Natural History to see the museum's curator, who we talked to about meteorites during the Earth Rocks festival they hosted a few weeks ago.

R at the Earth Rocks festival at HMNH

(Photograph by Patrick Rogers www.IamWhatISee.com)

The curator was very nice and was impressed by our somewhat scientific approach (e.g., using a real meteorite as the control specimen), but he said it was inconclusive. I think he didn't want to disappoint R too much, but he said that it was pretty unlikely that R's rocks were meteorites. He was also intrigued, however, that our nickel tests had come out positive. Either way, R seemed fine about it, and his "meteorites" are now on display with all our other gems and minerals and meteorites in our living room.

So, we're living the Meteorite Boys life here. And, A and R are insisting that our next family vacation has to be to Arizona or Nevada or some other barren, desert land where they can hunt for meteorites.

We'll see, boys.

A Whole Lot of Birthday

2010-04-27T22:05:00.000-04:00

Last week was R's school vacation and his birthday. I had the week off with him, and we had a nice time together hanging around home, riding bikes, meeting up with friends at the park, going to IKEA (hooray!), doing science experiments and craft projects (remember Shrinkydinks?!?!), and going to see "How to Train Your Dragon" (which was really, really good! especially in 3D IMAX).

But the best part was his birthday. Between our family party at home with my sister who was visiting from Pittsburgh, exploring the Harvard Museum of Natural History and asking the curator about R's potential meteorites (diagnosis: inconclusive), going out for a birthday dinner with friends at the Melting Pot, and a huge friend party at this place, it was quite the stellar celebration.

Cake at home

The BIG slide at the bouncy place

Exiting another big bouncy slide

R, me, and my friend's daughter

Cake with friends

Connect 4 with Aunt Ericka

We had a great visit with my sister, and we were really sad to take her back to the airport on Sunday. She and R played lots of games together and had many tickling fights. I loved sharing a blanket with her on the couch each evening and gabbing and watching TV. We all drove down to my dad's for a visit on Saturday (where we stuffed ourselves silly on homemade pizza), and on Sunday morning, we took a fun hike in the woods where we found caves, giant rocks to climb, a turtle, a snake, chipmunks, and lots of gnats.

It was a good week. Now, we're back to school and work - and counting the weeks until our end-of-summer vacation.

Operation Scribe

2010-03-30T11:10:00.000-04:00

Last weekend, I found cool monogrammed journals at the crafts store for $1. I bought a K one for me and an R one for R. :-)

On Sunday afternoon, I sat down with R and our journals. I wrote about our day and drew some little pictures to help him see what you can do with a journal. But I told him his journal could be anything he wanted it to be and that he doesn't have to show us what he writes if he doesn't want to. (Thanks for the suggestion, Dad!)

So, without any discussion, R opened up the title page, used a couple of stamps, and wrote this:

"A scientist's journal"

On his first page, he wrote about how he found a meteorite on the sidewalk. And, he drew a picture of himself, the meteorite, and him saying, "Take that! Take that!" And, then he drew poop falling out of his butt onto the ground.

I told him he could write whatever he wanted, right?

:-)

Today, he's home sick with a bad cold. He was up half the night, so we kept him home to rest. Except that he's been nuts ever since. Anyway, he dug out his electricity science kit, and we did some experiments with circuits and lightbulbs, a tiny motor, creating a switch, etc. (Fun!) So, we took out our journals again, and R wrote: "We mad lekchriste." (Translation: We made electricity.)

So far, the journal has been a hit!

He saves the "best" for me - and Geology Boy strikes again!

2010-03-26T11:42:00.000-04:00

Thank you all for your comments and ideas on my last post!

I met with R's teacher again yesterday afternoon because I had volunteered in the classroom in the morning, and he lost it during Writing Workshop. His teacher wasn't in the classroom at the time, just me and the assistant teacher. I was assigned to work with kids at another table, and within a few minutes, R was at my side, completely engulfed by anger and frustration. His face was red, he was clenching his teeth, and shaking with emotion. All because he had started working on his picture first (to go with his story), and he had messed up. His friends were looking at him because he was so upset, so he kept yelling at them, "Stop staring at me!!!"

I should have just walked him back to his seat, but I was trying to calm him down and tend to the kids at my table at the same time. Eventually, the assistant teacher came over and helped him. And, then he was fine. He did great work, and he got a big thumbs-up from his teacher when she came back in at the end.

It was so upsetting to me to see this, though. I really don't think I've ever seen him so frustrated. And, I was worried that this was the behavior that R's teacher was seeing and referring to, but that she had kind of hid from us how bad it was.

Well, it turns out (if you saw in my Twitter feed), R saved that freak-out session just for me. (Thanks, buddy!) His teacher said she's never seen anything like that when I'm not there. She's sure that he did that because I was there, because he felt safe expressing himself that way with me in the room. She assured me that he's a really great kid, that he's not a burden to her or a distraction to the class, that he just has trouble finishing tasks and that he doesn't like to do writing and drawing because it's hard for him. And, when he complains to her about writing, he pretty much just sighs and shrugs his shoulders and asks her to sit with him and help him. He knows he has to do it anyway.

She also told me that he's been working really hard this week and doing a lot better. He's been using a timer to keep him focused and to know when he needs to finish something and move on to the next task. For one writing session, he didn't want to do it, and she told him that he could either do it then or do it during recess when the other kids would be going outside. Ding! That worked. He buckled down without another word.

I've been talking to him a lot this week about how important learning to write is. We talked about how scientists need to write down everything they do and learn in their experiments so they can share it with others. (Aunt Ericka was a big example there.) And, it suddenly dawned on him that someone has to write the books he loves to read.

I was reconsidering the use of rewards, too (thanks, Bob and Ericka!). But I was thinking of letting it be less formal for now - maybe taking him out to dinner/ice cream at Friendly's, which he's been asking for, because he's worked hard this week and done better. When we offer him rewards up front as incentive, he becomes a negotiator. I lay out the ground rules, and he responds with, "Well, here's the deal. How about..." So I'd rather reward him afterwards for his efforts but without using it as a carrot up front. I've also found that unless the reward is pretty big, it doesn't motivate him. Small rewards work once or twice, but then he doesn't care about them. Although he was crazy for the stickers that came with his beginning reader sets, so who knows?

Anyway, all of this was good news. And, his teacher and I talked a lot more about R's sensory issues, and I am very motivated now to have him evaluated. His doctor gave me a referral to a great occupational therapy practice, and R's teacher said that it's a fantastic place. (She used to teach preschool, and several of the parents from the preschool raved about this practice.) We're also having the school's OT observe R, but apparently, the school can't really give him help unless he's having trouble academically, which he's not. But R's teacher and I are worried about next year when he'll have less one-on-one help, have to focus more, and when he could possibly fall behind if he doesn't complete things. So, we'll see where the evaluation takes us. I don't think R has severe sensory issues. It doesn't affect his ability to function every day. (Although it does seem to explain a lot of what we thought were just quirks.) It's just that it could be more difficult for him in school moving forward, so I want to make sure he has tools and coping mechanisms at his disposal if needs them.

What's been interesting about this week is that at the same time that I'm learning about these challenges for R, I've also been seeing some really cool stuff that he's doing. He reads a lot faster now. He's all of a sudden open to trying new foods and has been eating basically the same things as A and me. He can cut up his own food. (I may be late on allowing him to do that - it just dawned on me this week that I could probably give him a knife during dinner.) I gave him money yesterday, and he ran over to the ice cream truck and ordered his Italian ice, got his change, etc. all by himself. He told me how swimming in the deep end is much easier than swimming in the shallow end. He beat a teacher and two of the older kids in his after-school program at Connect 4 (and I'm 99.9% sure they weren't letting him win because he beat me three times this morning). He taught one of his classmates to ride a two-wheel bike!

The other thing is that he seems to be a huge influence on his friends and classmates. Last week on the way home from school, he found a rock in the street that he was sure was a meteorite. (As much as A and I scoffed, we actually think it might be - it's magnetic, it looks like our other meteorites, and with all of the rain we've had, it could have been washed onto the street from somewhere.) Because his class was doing a segment on magnets, his teacher let him bring the rock/meteorite into class to show. R presented it as a meteorite and explained why he thought that. Yesterday, when I was helping the kids with their writing, at least two other boys wrote about how they also found a meteorite, and I overheard two other boys talking about how they found ones, too. :-)

And, remember how R was sort of getting in trouble when school first started for picking up little rocks and pebbles from the floor of the classroom (instead of listening during circle time)? Well, yesterday, one of his friends showed me this nearly microscopic bit of quartz she had found on the rug during circle, and she wrote about it. She and R usually sit together during circle time.

So that made me smile. It makes me so happy to see him making so many friends and sharing the things he loves with them. Yesterday on the playground after school, I watched kids of all ages come up and say, "Hi, R!" And he plays with older kids, his classmates, kindergarteners from other classes, kids of all races and ethnicities (which he has exposure to because of his school's diversity - wonderful!), everyone. That makes me one proud mommy.

Work to do

2010-03-19T21:34:00.000-04:00

We met with R's teacher after school yesterday. She reassured us that R is very bright, very intelligent, that none of what she wanted to talk to us about was about his intellectual capabilities. (Phew!)

Basically, he has a couple of issues to work on. The first is that he sometimes has trouble starting tasks, especially writing. She said that it's almost as if his brain is working so far ahead - because he has so many ideas - that he can't figure out where to begin. Once he gets started (sometimes with help), though, he's fine. R's teacher thought maybe I could have R spend some time with me when I write for work - or even this blog or letters to family or friends - so he can see how much I enjoy writing and that it's not just a chore. I thought that was a great suggestion.

The other thing is that he has trouble transitioning to new activities. So, if he's working on something, and it's time to line up to head to lunch or art or gym, he has to be reminded several times to join the rest of the class. And, his teacher is worried that his future teachers won't have as much patience as she does with him. We've noticed the same behavior at home: if R is doing something that he's focused on, and it's time for dinner or bed or time to head out somewhere, he HAS to finish what he's doing first. He has a really hard time being okay with leaving something unfinished and coming back to it later. It takes a lot of time and cajoling to get him to move along.

R's teacher showed us a book that she made for her and us to read to R. It's all about him and school and what he likes and doesn't like and what tools he has available to him to help and how he has choice times but how he also has times where he has to do what his teachers ask him to do. She used his picture and other cute pictures to illustrate it. It's fabulous! She asked us if she should offer him a reward for trying to do better in his challenge areas, but we all agreed to try just reading the book to him and talking about with him first. Rewards don't always work with R, and there's something that bothers me about rewarding him for doing what the other kids are already doing. But maybe I'm being too mean?

We also talked about how R is definitely bored by some things at school, and his teacher totally picked up on how interested he is in hands-on, science-related things. She also noted that he has some sensory issues - he hates glue or other sticky things on his hands, he's very sensitive to smells, etc. I've always noticed that, too, but never really thought much about it. She didn't say it was a problem, just that she's provided him with some tools to help with sensory issues.

So, I love R's teacher more than ever for talking with us and for coming up with creative, kind solutions for R. I'm a little bit at a loss for how to help R change his behavior, but I definitely want to do whatever I can.

If any of you have any ideas or thoughts, I'm open to them!

Update on the Great Flood of 2010

2010-03-16T09:25:00.000-04:00

The water kept rising last night, so we had to call the fire department because we were worried about our furnace being on, the water reaching up to the electrical outlets in the basement, etc. They added us to a list for visits. Then, our friend across town - who was dealing with the same issues - called us and said his pump had cleared out most of his water, so we could borrow it. Hallelujah! While A was off picking up the pump, the firemen showed up and turned off our furnace. We were so lucky to have had heat all day.

Except for one mishap where part of the pump came apart and water started spraying all over the basement and A at high pressure, the pump worked great. I woke up at 7 am and we only had about 2 inches of water left. Two hours later, it looks like an inch. Yay! A was up all night, so he's resting now. We turned the heat and hot water back on at 7 am. A and I both took today off to deal with the rest of the water and to clean up and prevent mold. And, thank God, the sun is out, and it's going to be sunny and spring-like for the rest of the week!

I'll update on R and school when I talk to his teacher on Thursday. Yesterday at pickup, she told me it was nothing bad - she just wants to make sure we're on the same page about some things. Doesn't that sound like I'm in trouble?

When it rains...

2010-03-15T13:04:00.000-04:00

A and I are so mad at ourselves. Every few years in late winter, we get a huge rainstorm, and our basement floods with a couple of inches of water. Last Friday, we knew a big storm was coming and we made plans to move things around in the basement just in case, but did we think to go buy a sump pump? Idiots! (And, why we have never had a pump installed since we know that this happens every few years, well that just proves we're idiots.)

So, we've received between 6 and 8 inches of rain this weekend, and there are at least two more to go before the sun returns tomorrow morning. And, currently, there's about 3-4 inches of water in the basement. Of course, there are no sump pumps to be had anywhere in New England. We do have one coming overnight via Amazon, thank goodness. And, we still have heat and hot water for the moment, so I am very thankful for that. But we are not looking forward to the cleanup and mold prevention we're going to have to do this week.

One good thing about the basement flooding, though, is that it always gets us to get rid of a lot of stuff. We started that process last weekend, but I think we'll be parting with a lot more items once cleanup begins tomorrow.

The other thing that's freaking me out is that R's teacher sent home a note on Friday asking to talk to us because R has been having trouble completing tasks at school. She stressed that it's not because anything is too hard for him; he just gets distracted. I don't react well to this kind of news. I immediately think I'm a terrible parent, and we'll have to homeschool R, and how will I afford that because one of us will have to quit our job, etc.

As a recovering academic overachiever, I have a hard time relating to my child who is not - at least in terms of school. He's very bright, and he is fully capable of reading, writing, etc. He's just not that interested in doing it. Homework (what little he has) is already something to gripe and procrastinate about.

The thing is, when R is motivated and interested in something, he can concentrate on it for HOURS. Yesterday, when we were stuck inside all day avoiding the deluge, R assembled his own model rocket almost completely by himself - including carefully gluing the parts together, applying decals, coloring his own design on the parachute. It took a lot of fine motor skills and concentration. I see those same things when he's assembling Lego kits. With things like that, he's completely self-motivated, he works hard, and he is so proud of himself when he is done. That doesn't happen much with his schoolwork.

Plus, I think R has become another version of Calvin (from Calvin and Hobbes). He's got a slightly twisted sense of humor and way of thinking. A few weeks ago, all the kids in his class were supposed to draw their dream house and write about it. When I volunteered in the classroom, I checked out all the kids' completed projects. Most of the kids drew castles, mansions, big, crazy amazing houses. R had a nice drawing, but it was a plain house. I thought, "Wow! R appreciates what I've been saying about how money doesn't equal happiness. Cool!" Then I read what he wrote about it: "I made my house boring so other kids wouldn't like it." (Actually, in kindergartener writing, it was: "I mad my hous bring so othr kiz wudnt lik it.")

Another project was writing about places they go to in our town. There were three pages of "I go to" and the kids filled that in with "the park," "the library," "the gas station," "the movie theater," etc. R's were pretty standard, except that he wrote "I go to the cemetery." Um, we've NEVER taken him to the cemetery in our town or possibly any other town, so I don't know what that was about, but whatever. The last page of the booklet was supposed to be "I don't go to..." and talk about a place that isn't in our town - like "the desert," "the mountains," "the moon," etc. R missed the point a little and wrote "I don't explode" and then drew a picture of a bomb. The clincher was that the bomb had a thought bubble that said: "Is it time to go home yet?" I think he might be a little bored. :-(

So, we'll see what his teacher says. She's very creative and has great suggestions, but I admit that I'm feeling a little pessimistic about this. I'm not sure how we'll get R more interested in school unless he gets to focus on hands-on science experiments all day long, separated only by half-hour sessions of rock climbing, running, and obstacle courses. School can be very boring. A lot of it was for me, too, even though I was very motivated to please my teachers and do well. But if R's already distracted and uninterested in kindergarten, I think we may be in for a very long 12 years.

Can I get an Amen?

2010-03-08T12:02:00.000-05:00

I've been working with R on the typical social niceties. You know, like saying "Yes, please" and "No, thank you" and, particularly, "Excuse me" after certain bodily noises. He's generally really good at remembering, but there are always some slip-ups here and there, of course. No big deal.

I've also been working with R (and A!) on saying "Amen" after grace at meals. I'm always the grace-sayer, so I'd at least like that "Amen" at the end as some acknowledgment that the other two people at the table listened.

Last night during dinner, a noise came from R's butt. I waited a few seconds for the obligatory "Excuse me," but when it didn't come, I reminded R, "What do you say?"

He looked at me questioningly and said, "Amen?"

Unfortunately, A and I laughed so hard that I think we may have sanctioned an unfortunate family tradition.

The law of cats

2010-02-09T16:04:00.000-05:00

Through my many years of cat ownership (that doesn't sound quite right - cat servitude, maybe?), I have observed two natural laws of catdom:

Cats detest clean floors and rugs. Without fail, minutes after I finish vacuuming, Swiffering, or mopping, my cat will make a lovely hairy deposit to show his appreciation.Unfortunately, I don't usually discover the morsel until it's dark and I'm barefoot. Last week when I was dealing with one of the aforementioned deposits, I was thinking that someone should write a country song about cleaning up cat blurf.
Cats have a sensor for detecting when you are least able to pay attention to them. It doesn't matter if I'm laid out on the couch, feverish, and half dead (like I've felt this week) - the cat insists on sitting next to me, howling his head off, and staring at me with a very annoyed look until I create a lap for him to curl up on. When R was a baby, and I was completely exhausted in the evenings after I put R to bed but needed to do laundry, dishes, etc., the cat would follow me around the house, again howling his head off until I sat down on the couch to create the lap. It was enough to make me scream.

This morning, these two laws morphed into one. As I lay on the couch, feeling achy and gross, I heard the telltale sound of a cat butt being dragged across the kitchen floor and then the music-to-my-ears howling. Who doesn't love mopping while they're sick? Good times.

What do you do with a drunken sailor?

2010-02-04T10:51:00.000-05:00

It's another "random stuff" post. That gives you some insight into my brain as of late. I can't pull together anything coherent... for that I blame R and his recent horrible sleeping habits.

I should totally win the Worst Mom of the Year award. Why? Because I taught R the words to "Drunken Sailor." He's been humming the tune because it's frequently the background music on Spongebob, so I couldn't help filling in the lyrics for him (just the first verse and chorus). [What the heck is wrong with me?!?]

A and I had a long talk about money and more babies, and we decided to take a couple of months to see how much extra money we could save by being careful, not eating out as much, etc. And, then the vacuum died. And, we went skiing with R's friend from school and his family. And, A forgot his gloves and hat when we went skiing, so he had to ~~sell an organ~~ buy replacements at the exorbitant pro shop at the lodge. Sigh.

Now for the better stuff...

We got R into the camp we loved for 8 weeks this summer, and he'll be with lots of other kids he knows, and the bus picks up and drops off right down the street from our house. It makes me feel so much better to have that all settled.

I bought a bird feeder and seed a couple of weeks ago and set everything up in the backyard so that I can watch from my home office. I could watch the birds for hours! The greedy little sparrows, the solo chickadee that swoops in and out of nowhere, the cardinal couple. The blue jays keep their distance - so strange! The seed I bought has red pepper flakes in it, which supposedly don't bother the birds, but they do bother squirrels, so the squirrels haven't been a problem. The sparrows show up in a gang and completely empty the feeder in less than 2 hours, but I still enjoy watching the scene. It makes me happy to feed these little guys that are outside in the frigid cold.

This morning, I volunteered in R's classroom again. I really love doing it, but sometimes I feel like I'm not actually a help to R's teacher. I usually get assigned to one table with 4 or 5 children, and it is SO hard to spend adequate time with each child and help them with their writing assignment. Inevitably, one of the more confident writers finishes up early and gets up from the table to wander around the classroom before I can stop them and redirect them to something else at their seat. But today was great! Everyone was very quiet and focused for the most part, and I was able to help five children in a substantial way, meanwhile getting to be near R and check in with him occasionally. (He is doing fabulous in his writing, by the way - I am so proud of him.)

Have I talked about how much I love R's teacher? It makes me teary-eyed to think about it. I always get this urge to hug her when I see her. She is so nurturing and fun and down to earth and such a great communicator with the parents. R loves her, too. He keeps calling her Mom (and calling me Miss R). When other parents from R's school ask me which teacher he has for kindergarten and I tell them, they either get all excited and gushy (because their kid had her, too) or look longingly and wistfully (because their kid didn't but they've heard how wonderful she is). We really lucked out. R is having the positive kindergarten experience I hoped he would have. Yay!

R and I are heading to Florida soon for our mommy-son adventure. We are so excited to see my family and to be where it's warm! I've had it with the mid-20-degree days, especially when there's no snow on the ground for sledding.

With two weeks of no camp during the summer, we are now planning our family vacation time. Those weeks just happen to coincide with one of the weeks that a bunch of our friends go camping on Cape Cod. We've been meaning to join them for years, but this will probably be the year we actually do it. Except that I was thinking that our family would only go for maybe 2 days (since I've never really been camping before, and I'm not that gung ho for it to begin with). Last night, A proposed going for an entire week. LOL! Luckily, one of our friends emailed everyone to say that she's thinking we should all rent a house this year instead. Fine by me!

New Office tonight - finally! That clip show two weeks ago was RIDICULOUS. Making us wait 6 weeks for a new episode and then showing a clip show?!? ARGH!

The mind of my boy

2010-01-21T11:13:00.000-05:00

Recently, I was talking to R about something he wanted to do. It went something like this:

Me: "Blah, blah, blah, blah ... not without supervision."

R's eyes got huge with excitement and hope as he exclaimed: "Super vision?!?!?!!"

Thinking about summer

2010-01-11T10:10:00.000-05:00

Yes, summer is on my mind, and not just because it was only in the 20s here this weekend. It's already time to sign R up for summer camp - gah!

I've been freaking out about the prospect of summer camp for him. Partly because it's my nature to freak out about things like this. But mostly because deep down I don't want to send R to camp. My own limited childhood experience with camp, both day and overnight, was not good. SO not good. I liked spending summers at home with my mom and sisters and being bored out of my skull. I liked the laziness of that time. Of going to the beach nearly every day, of blueberry-picking in the woods near our house, of going to the library's children's events. Of doing nothing!

But R doesn't have that luxury. So, we have to find him a camp for at least seven weeks of the 10 he'll be on summer vacation. And, as I've discovered, camps around here aren't cheap! In fact, when I figured out how much we'll need to pay, it made me a little nauseous. Oh, and most of the camps run from 9-3. If they offer extended hours, that's extra. And, most of the camps aren't in our town, so we'll either have to drive to pick up/drop off in the opposite direction of our work commute or pay for R to take the camp bus (if there is one).

So it's a bit of a challenge. I want this to be a great experience for R, so I want to find him a really good camp that we can afford. Yesterday, we went to one camp's open house. Some of R's friends from his old school went there last year and loved it. And, there's a bus stop for it just down the street from us. It sounds great, although it is on the more expensive side. Everyone was so nice at the open house, the director made a point to come and meet us even though we weren't in his tour group, and R LOVED it. Now, he's basing his love on the fact that he got to play in the gym for half an hour, they gave him a free frisbee, and there's a waterfall on the camp property. His standards aren't that high. :-) But it is a beautiful campus (on the property of a private boarding school), and R was very excited that they offer swimming twice every day, once for lessons and once for free swim. I think it also helped that we ran into three other families that we know during the open house, even though the camp is three towns over.

This weekend, there's a summer camp fair that we're hoping to attend to check out some of the other camps. But we can't take too long to make a decision because, apparently, if you don't get your application in before the end of January for most of them, you end up on the waiting list. Isn't that crazy? I know we can make a decision by then, but sheesh. I don't need this kind of pressure! :-)

p.s. Last week during my afternoon off with R, I hurt my tailbone. Here's a clue how.

Cool things that have happened recently

2010-01-07T10:50:00.000-05:00

Because I can't seem to keep up with posting, I thought I'd make it easier on myself and just write about random good stuff that's going on.

R learned to play a plethora of new games over his school/holiday break and at his after-school program. But I was most excited when I took him to the bookstore to get some new books and he picked out a kit about medieval knights that included a book AND a chess set. A taught him to play chess, and R's been gung ho about it ever since. Yay! At our town library on Thursday afternoons, they have chess classes/sessions, so I may get him into that since he already knows some kids who participate.
R is really reading! At our parent-teacher conference, R's teacher talked to us about the types of books we could look for to help him. (He was doing fine and was at a good reading level - I just wanted to know how to encourage him further.) I found a set at the bookstore that includes 10 books, a poster, a certificate of achievement, and stickers to put on the poster for each book read. I bow to the power of stickers. Getting R to read before was a struggle, so I didn't force it even though I knew he could actually do it. But hand him the mini books and the stickers, and he was so excited and wanted to read several of the mini books each night. He hung the sticker poster over his bed, suspended from the ceiling.
We took R to his first real concert! Just after Christmas, Bim Skala Bim, the band that is the reason that A and I met (my friends and I used to go see them all the time and A is friends with the band) got together for a reunion show at the House of Blues in Boston. It was an all ages show, so we decided to bring R because we were afraid that he'd never get to see them play otherwise. We had so much fun. Everyone was so excited to see Bim again, the guys dedicated a song to A, and R really seemed to enjoy his first concert, although he did spend a lot of time playing under the merch table. It was surreal for me to be dancing next to my friends' kids (15 and 13) because I've known them since they were wee (2 and 0, respectively). And, it made me a little sad for the old days. I missed my friend who used to take me to their shows all the time. But still fun - yay!
This week, I bought tickets for R and me to go visit my family in Florida over the school break in February. We are so excited! After 10+ days of Christmas break, during which we were often housebound because of the frigid cold and snow, I checked airfares to see if we could afford to escape from New England for a little while. Although we made the best of it over the holidays and we did get outside as much as possible, it was still difficult being limited as to what we could do, and most of R's friends were away so there weren't any playdates to be had. So, we're heading to Florida in a few weeks - woohoo! I haven't been to my mom's house in years, and I'm so thrilled for R to see my mom, stepdad, and his aunt and uncle and cousins. It'll be my first time traveling with R but not A, so that will be interesting, but R is so easy to "handle" now that I'm not worried. And, he loves to fly.
One of my friends from work bought me two books that are written from Captain Frederick Wentworth's perspective. (He's the hero from Jane Austen's Persuasion.) So, I've been continuing my Jane Austen-ish obsession - and enjoying every minute of it! :-)
A bought me an iPod Nano for Christmas (the purple one!). So I've finally caught up to the 20th century. Hee hee.

OK, I've written something. Phew!

Happy 2010! Everyone seems hopeful that this is going to be a better year. 2009 didn't end up being too bad for me and my little family, but I'm excited for a new start, too.

A Perfect Snow Day

2009-12-20T22:19:00.000-05:00

Today was our first real snow day of the season. We woke up to blizzard conditions, and the snow kept swirling and falling until mid-afternoon.

Luckily, we had no plans and no obligations today. We enjoyed a very lazy morning of building vehicles out of K'nex, snuggling, giggling, and watching Spongebob. We had a very late breakfast of pancakes and bacon. Eventually, we headed out to shovel the driveway and walkways (our wonderful neighbor took care of our sidewalks with his snowblower). R was a huge help, in between jumping into snowdrifts, eating snow, and making tunnels. We spotted one of R's classmates outside shoveling with his dad up the street, so we walked over to say hello. R brought his shovel so he could help them. The boys played while A helped R's friend's dad clear out his driveway and clean off his cars. We were invited in for cocoa and hot cider. The mom and I have been chatting a lot at the playground after school, and our boys get along very well. We've had a couple of playdates, too. So it was nice to hang out for a little while today. The mom sent me home with fresh, homemade brownies. Love that!

After a very late lunch at home, A took R out for sledding while I stayed home to wrap presents for my employees. I looked out the window at one point to look for my boys and saw the most amazing pink and magenta sunset. When the boys came home, I stripped R out of his snowy clothes, we lit a fire in the fireplace, popped "White Christmas" into the VCR, and piled onto the couch together. It was a bit of an experiment because even though watching it is a holiday tradition for me, this was the first time that A or R had seen the movie. I figured they'd get bored and find something else to do after a little while. But they watched the whole thing with me and pretty much enjoyed it. That made me so happy. I had figured that that was one Christmas tradition I'd have to continue all by myself without a daughter to keep me company. It actually made me cry a little that it worked out today. When R saw I was getting sniffly, he cradled my face in his hands and gave me a sweet kiss. Life and love are all about unexpected surprises.

It was a good day.

Let me introduce myself

2009-12-07T09:43:00.000-05:00

Hi, I'm Kristen. I used to write this blog. Nice to meet you!

I don't know what the heck has happened. I've started to write posts at least five times over the last few weeks, and just couldn't finish them. So much is going on with me, yet I've found it impossible to write about it. And, life has been a whirlwind recently. Our time has been filled with work, school, and fun, but it's all going by so quickly that I think I've been avoiding the computer at night just to try to have some slow time.

But here we are, it's December, and the year is nearly over. This week, we have our parent-teacher conference with R's teacher, our company's holiday party and awards ceremony (during which I'll get my tenure award for being there for 10 years, which I find a little depressing), cards to mail out (I finally got motivated this year to get them done!), decorations to put up, a tree to buy, a birthday party to attend. The week hasn't begun yet, and I'm exhausted just thinking about it.

In the midst of all the craziness, though, life has been pretty nice. Thanksgiving with my sister, brother-in-law, and my dad was mellow and comfy and delicious. A, R, and I went to our favorite seaside Massachusetts town last weekend to climb rocks, explore the beach, and look for shells and seaglass. We ate lunch while we watched some men build a huge Christmas tree made out of lobster traps in the center of town. I love New England.

Yesterday, we met up early (9 am!) with a classmate of R's and his family, and we all headed to the Harvard Museum of Natural History - in particular, its gems and minerals collection because R has apparently started a new fad among his classmates after he brought in his favorite gems for show-and-tell. After the kids practically ran through the exhibits, we all walked into Harvard Square for hot chocolate, a stop at the outdoor sports store, and lunch at a Harvard Square landmark. The kids got along famously, and A and I had a nice time getting to know the other parents better. It was a cold day and there was fresh snow on the ground, so we spent most of the time watching the kids run through the snow, pick up ice, eat snow, and throw snow and ice at each other while we desperately coaxed the kids to move along so we could get inside and get warm. But it was really fun.

I've been a little depressed about Christmas. Partly because, without much family in the area, I feel like I have to work really hard to make Christmas traditions and special memories for R. I've tried keeping alive the Advent traditions that I grew up with, but A and R aren't that into it. The two of them also aren't that into helping me decorate for Christmas (and, man, do I hate decorating the tree by myself). But I realized last night that days like yesterday - full of fun with friends, cold noses and fingers, snow, and hot cocoa - are precious Christmas memories, too. Soon we'll go with other friends to the local zoo for their holiday lights display (our fourth year), and on Christmas Eve or right around there, we'll go to Edaville Railroad with lots of friends for lights, rides, fireworks, hot cider, and music (our third year). Those events have become our traditions, and I'm sure we'll add a few more as the years go on. I'm already thinking about having a special family dinner at the Melting Pot. Mmmmmm, fondue.....

I love my life

2009-11-07T20:37:00.000-05:00

In spite of my midlife crisis, I've had a lot of moments recently when I've thought to myself, "I love my life!" This is one of those moments:

I'm stretched out on the couch under a warm blanket with a cat on my lap and a fire in the fireplace. I'm listening to A read bedtime stories to R upstairs. And, I can hear the stove making noises as it heats up my mulled cider mixed with blueberry port. I have a book to read (Jane Austen, of course!). The laundry is folded, the house is reasonably clean. It was a beautiful fall day, and I got to spend a few hours of it outside with my boys, raking leaves.

Life is good. :-)

So THIS is a midlife crisis... and Jane Austen is bad for me

2009-11-04T23:21:00.002-05:00

It dawned on me last week that I'm having my midlife crisis. And that it's been going on for a few months. My version of a midlife crisis has included (so far):

Buying a new wardrobe (not so bad and actually was a long time coming; could be considered a necessity)
Going out more often with girlfriends (a good thing!)
Freaking out about R getting older (understandable)

Those aren't anything to worry about. But here's the more recent set of crisis behaviors:

Reading Jane Austen novels over and over again, especially Pride and Prejudice and Persuasion
Watching movies of Jane Austen novels over and over again, especially Pride and Prejudice and Persuasion
Getting frustrated with real life because people and relationships aren't like they are in Jane Austen novels
Losing sleep from re-hashing in my mind stupid things I did in the past
Playing the "What if?" game (i.e., playing out scenarios in my head in which I chose different paths in my past)

I suppose I could be doing far worse things - heaven knows I've been witness to some disastrous midlife crises among my friends. (Although A's has been pretty tame. He's just buying guitars and amplifiers and taking guitar lessons online.)

The Jane Austen stuff is just funny. I love her novels, nearly all of them anyway. And, every few years, I pull them out and read them until the wee hours of the night because I can't put them down. And, I get lost in the romance and that time period and wish I lived back then. But eventually I realize that women's lives were pretty darn crappy then. Also, that I probably wouldn't have been a member of the gentry. I think with my family background, I would have been some kind of scullery maid. So the longing wears off. :-) Plus, my gut tells me that even in Jane Austen's times, men did not actually write letters like Mark Darcy's and Frederick Wentworth's.

Re-hashing mistakes from my past - well, a little remorse can be a good thing. But I try not to dwell on it too much because there isn't much I can do to change things or make amends now. I was young once and stupid sometimes.

The "What if?" game could be dangerous. What if I had dated this person or that person instead of just being friends? But as I've thought about these things, I've actually re-realized that A and I were truly meant to be together. It reminded me that A is the right person for me and always has been (even if he has never written me a letter about how I pierce his soul - darn it, Jane Austen!). Although the path I took to find him may have had some crazy turns and detours, I ended up in the right place.

Maybe it's not my midlife crisis. Maybe I should call it my midlife renewal.

Somebody please slap me

2009-10-25T21:05:00.000-04:00

I don't know why I don't learn. But every single time I've mentioned to someone that R doesn't get sick very often (which is true!), the NEXT DAY he comes down with a bug. (Luckily, I've only said this about three times. But still!)

So I did it again on Thursday when talking to another mom at the playground, and by Friday night, R was not himself. Yesterday he was coughing a lot. Last night, I was up with him several times to give him Tylenol, popsicles, take his temp, etc. Today he felt better except for a sore throat. But then the fever came back this evening, and as he fell asleep, he looked so sad and sick. Kind of like this:

That's one of the pumpkin faces he designed today. Because earlier today, he was feeling better. Enough that he was bouncing around the house and jumping on A and making up a song called "Daddy Is a Trampoline." So we took him outside because it was absolutely amazingly beautiful and we had some yard work to do.

We raked and mowed and washed out our rain barrel and cut plants down for the winter. And, R was a huge help. Then he started getting more listless and was complaining about his throat. So, we went inside and fed him a gazillion popsicles and read him stories and snuggled with him on the couch. (We still stuck to the no TV thing - amazing! And, it really wasn't that hard!) Then, I roasted a chicken and A roasted a bunch of vegetables (leeks, carrots, fingerling potatoes, zucchini, mushrooms, and shallots - drizzled with olive oil and herbs), and we had the most delicious dinner. R ate quite a bit in spite of his yuckiness.

After dinner we listened to music, got PJs on, then tucked R in his bed for storytime and bedtime. Poor little man.

I feel so bad for him because it definitely looks like he'll be staying home tomorrow, and he is sad about missing school. Plus, he's probably going to have to go to the doctor's and get his first-ever throat culture. But, worst of all, our work is having a Hallowen party with trick-or-treating and a sundae party for all the employees' kids tomorrow afternoon, and he's probably going to have to miss it. I'm not looking forward to breaking that news to him. :-(

So, please, if you ever hear me start to say something about R's general good health, just give me a good ol' slap in the head. Apparently it's the only way I'll ever learn.

Unexpected time

2009-10-24T22:30:00.001-04:00

I don't know quite what to do right now. R came down with a bad cold or a mild virus (not sure which), and he fell asleep more than an hour early tonight. A is off at his ancient coin club meeting. So I have an unexpected few hours to myself.

I could...

wash the dishes
fold laundry
work out
clean the bathroom
read
Facebook
write letters to my Compassion kids
search for a pumpkin cranberry bread recipe online
do a combination of some or all of the above.

I'm so much more productive without TV! The no-TV thing has actually been really easy so far. R has only asked to watch it once, but only because he forgot about Turn Off the TV Week. When we reminded him, he was fine. And, I've been getting to bed by 10 or 10:30, which is AMAZING for me.

The best part so far was Friday night. R laid down on the couch, snuggled up under a blanket. We had a lovely fire going in the fireplace. A was reading Alice in Wonderland aloud. R fell asleep. The cat came out of hiding and decided to lay down on R (first time ever! we took a picture). Eventually, A scooped up R, carried him upstairs, and we tucked him into bed. The house was quiet except for the crackle of the fire. Absolute heaven.

Well, I don't want to waste this time to myself. Have a great night!

Homework

2009-10-21T22:03:00.002-04:00

Tomorrow is the beginning of "Turn off the TV" week at R's school. A and I decided that if we're going to support R, we need to participate, too. For each day that R doesn't watch any TV or use the computer or play video games, we fill out a coupon and send it to school. If the whole school earns 1,000 coupons, then the school gets a big surprise prize. Fun!

I'm excited to see what things I do instead of watching TV. I'm guessing I'll do a lot of reading and that I'll get to bed much earlier. But I'm hoping to play the piano and do some painting, too. We'll see!

Looking back

2009-10-19T09:50:00.004-04:00

I've been thinking a lot lately about people from my past. Mostly about how strange it is to be so close to someone for so long and to spend so much time with someone and then not to. Not suddenly (usually), but over time as life changed.

Facebook has brought up a lot of this for me. As I've reconnected on the weird, mostly superficial level that Facebook creates (I haven't talked to you since high school, but now I know what you had for breakfast), I've mourned silently the loss of some of these people from my daily life. That mourning never took place when the separations happened. It's all getting dredged up now. And, it seems like I'm not alone. I've received more than a few emails from people apologizing for things in the past and genuinely wondering why we stopped talking long ago.

Over the weekend, I found and played an old mix tape that I made a few months before I met A. I called it, "A Mix for the Worst Week of 1996 So Far." Man, there is some great music on there! But it took me quite awhile to remember why that week was so bad. Finally, I remembered that it involved an all-out war between me and another woman, who was actually the childhood best friend of my best friend and roommate. She was also dating my best friend H from high school - a guy who had had a crush on me for years. A bunch of us used to hang out all the time, but there was a lot of tension between the two of us (she is also named Kristen), and finally we held an intervention of sorts to get the bitterness out in the open because our mutual friends couldn't take it anymore. And, I had been dating this clown, I mean guy who after almost two months decided to tell me that he was moving to LA and had been planning to all along. So that's what constituted my worst week that year. LOL.

These memories make me laugh and wistful at the same time. I think it's so funny that my life had so much drama in those days. But not really important drama, just silliness and pettiness. It didn't feel that way at the time, of course, but looking back on it now, I laugh at my angst. No one was sick or dying, divorcing, trying to conceive and couldn't, no one lost their job or couldn't pay their bills. On the one hand, life now seems much more important and serious. But at the same time, my life now seems pretty boring in comparison. I don't have that 20-something angst anymore. I don't have the whole, awful dating thing to deal with. Life is good and comfortable and peaceful.

I'm not sure where I'm going with this. Except that it's weird how it all turned out in the end. In those days, I spent nearly every waking hour it seemed with those friends, especially my friend H from high school and then later his best friend and roommate, R. I loved that time and those people, even with all the turmoil and hurt feelings and messiness. I caused a lot of that hurt and messiness myself.

Last week, my friend R sent me a link to his wedding photos. I haven't seen him in years and we've only emailed each other here and there. It was the strangest thing looking at his wedding pictures and seeing him in his life that I don't know and that I'm not even minutely a part of. I've never met his wife. He's never met my son. And, that made me really sad. My once best friend, someone I thought I'd be around forever, is now a stranger.

The other Kristen and I keep in touch today. A and I met her for lunch when she was in town visiting two weeks ago. She watched R while A and I sang during our friends' wedding. My former rival is now my friend.

Part of me thinks that this is just the way life is - people come and go, their importance changes, and you move on with some sadness but not really noticing either. But then I look at A - he is still friends with almost everyone he knew from high school and beyond. He makes friends and keeps them. He doesn't see them all the time, but the friendships are still there. There doesn't seem to be many endings in his relationships. And, I wonder why there are in mine.

Thankful Thursday

2009-10-15T09:29:00.003-04:00

The whining is over. I was just having one of those days where I felt like I was some sort of rule-spewing robot ("stop that," "sit down," "hurry up," "stop jumping on me"). I remember when my sister's oldest son was little, she told me that she felt like all she did was say "No" all day long. That gets tiresome.

But today is a new day, and I'm thankful for:

Fall in New England. This truly is my favorite time of year - with apple picking, pumpkin patches, bright blue skies, leaves that make me gasp at the amazing colors, toasty warm fires, snuggly blankets, hot cider, cider donuts, and hay rides. I suddenly get the urge to cook stew and pot roast and soup and to bake cranberry bread and pumpkin bread. I even get excited about raking leaves!
Heat. I'm so thankful that we can afford to heat our home and to have warm clothes to wear. I know that is not true for many people.
My husband. Yesterday, I grumbled about him, but he really is an amazing husband, father, friend, and person. He's patient, kind, SO interesting, funny, handsome, and a great listener. He works very hard. And, he puts up with me! That's not an easy job. (Especially because we also work together.) And, to top it all off, he still loves me. Sometimes I can't figure out why, but he does. And I'm so thankful for that every day.
Halloween. I know there is a lot of bad stuff associated with it, but I just love helping R figure out his costume and seeing him get so excited about trick-or-treating. And, I really enjoy handing out candy to the neighborhood kids. (Except for the tweens who come late and without costumes.)
The Office. Yes, it's pretty lame to be thankful for a TV show, but it just makes me so happy! It's really the only show A and I get excited for each week, and we never tire of watching the old ones over and over again on DVD. I love it because it's funny and sweet and awful and stressful and appalling. It makes you laugh out loud and cringe at the same time. The writing is really, really good.

Happy Thursday!

Whiney Wednesday

2009-10-14T20:52:00.003-04:00

I know that a few of you all have started doing Thankful Thursdays, and I'm going to join you tomorrow, but first I need to take a Whiney Wednesday.

I love being a mom. There is no doubt about that. But sometimes my little man is a giant pain in the butt!

During dinner tonight, I had to tell R at least 20 times to STAY IN HIS SEAT while he was eating. Yes, honey, I'm excited that you learned the Chicken Dance and the Bunny Hop during gym class today, too, but sit down already - you're getting food everywhere!

Then, it was shower time. For some reason, I've always been the one to give R his baths and to help him in the shower. A week ago, I told A he had to do it from now on because I HATE IT SO MUCH! I hate losing my temper and getting that frustrated. R has no problem swimming underwater or jumping in the deep end of the pool at his swimming lessons. But Lord help us if he gets any water on his face when I'm washing his hair. And, he won't do it himself. He will wash his body, which I am very thankful for, but the hair. Oh, the hair. I am so tired of having wrestling and yelling matches with him every other night. (And, A hasn't stepped in to help. Grumble, grumble.) I've tried everything - I let R wear his swim goggles, I hold a washcloth over his eyes, I've made up games. Sometimes, he's fine about it. But tonight. Argh.

Brushing teeth was the last straw. Why do I have to tell him over and over again every night that he can't just suck on the toothbrush, that he has to move it around and actually BRUSH? And, he dawdled so much at brushing that we only had 15 minutes to read stories instead of our usual half hour.

[Okay, breathe.]

Of course, as with my entire parenting experience -- the challenges are always tempered with inexpressible joy, and the night ended very sweetly. R has been making little books at school - they help him practice writing and reading his sight words. Tonight, he read one of them to me. It was called "I Watch My Garden Grow," and on the "Dedicated to" page, R had written "MOM" all by himself.

Man alive, I love that boy. Even when he makes me absolutely nutty.

A bit of a blur

2009-10-05T21:55:00.003-04:00

Life has been busy and fun. We've become used to the routine of school for the most part, although I'm still adjusting to my new work schedule. I really miss working from home all day on Mondays.

R likes the after-school program better now. He sometimes doesn't want to leave when we pick him up because he's busy playing with Legos with other kids or listening to a story read by the program director. He seems to be making lots of friends all around, and he's giving us more details about school and what he's learning. Last week, I went to Curriculum Night, and I was so impressed with his school, the principal, and his teacher. I signed up to volunteer in his classroom to help with writing and reading and to do cutting projects and fix broken books. It was fun to see his drawings and writing on the classroom walls, especially how he tried to write out "I went to California" (for his summer vacation paper) and his depiction and interpretation of one of the classroom rules ("No kicking" - illustrated with a stick figure kicking another stick figure that had Xs for eyes).

R's teacher did talk to us about R's habit of looking for "treasure" on the ground and floor. Unfortunately, it's something we've encouraged because he finds really interesting things a lot of the time, including money, interesting rocks, beads, and jewelry. Other times he finds bits of rusty metal, asphalt, and trash. :-) But, apparently, he was scouring the classroom floor during circle time instead of focusing on his teacher. She told us that he would get excited about "staples and small rocks that come off of the children's shoes." LOL. But, she was so wonderful about it and just asked us if R had ever used some techniques for staying focused that she had tried before. I did talk to R about limiting his treasure hunting to when he's outside, and I think that's helped a lot.

Our weekends have been very busy between soccer, swimming lessons, errands, and fun stuff. This past weekend, we went to a co-worker's wedding. R wore a tie, vest, dress pants, and shirt! He's never been that dressed up before, and it was all his idea and he was very excited to wear his "suit." We all had a blast at the wedding. There were lots of activities and entertainment for the kids, so A and I actually got to dance and mingle and eat - woohoo!

After the wedding, we drove to my friend's mom's house to stay for the night. We hung out with my friend, her husband, and twins (we had all been at the wedding together). We had a lovely breakfast in the morning, then we met up with my friend's sister and her twins and husband and went to a local farm for apples, cider, bouncy houses, pony rides, and the unexpected surprise of .... GEM MINING! R was in absolute heaven. We bought three giant bags of dusty pebbles for him to sift and wash through - and he came home with an incredible amount of geodes, amethyst, quartz, pyrite, hematite, and many more. He had so much fun. He could have stayed there all day. The mining kit came with a little chart to identify the gems. R went over to other "miners" to find out what gems they found and to help them identify them. He's been very interested in rocks and gems and minerals recently, between his treasure hunting and visiting our local bead store, which also has many gems for sale. The woman who works at the bead store took a liking to R and told him he could have anything he found on the floor. So, R thinks it's his job now to clean the bead store floor. A week ago, he filled a ziploc baggie with his floor findings. Now he wants the tools to drill holes in rocks, polish stones and gems, etc.

We've been trying to balance all of these events with downtime at home. I'm excited because R has only a half-day of school one day this week, and I took the afternoon off to hang with him. And, we don't really have any concrete plans yet for the long weekend, which is so nice. Although I am hoping to have some time to make a raised garden bed in my front yard and to plant my spring bulbs. We'll see what happens.

Happy Fall!

Hummina, hummina, hummina

2009-09-24T09:48:00.002-04:00

We're all a bit tired here at the Fieryboots ranch. Last week was one of the craziest ever in my life. Not only did R start kindergarten and afterschool and soccer and swimming (all of that with new work schedules for A and me), but my company also moved to a new location. And, since I'm in charge of IT, it meant that I worked really late on Friday (as in, almost until Saturday), all day Saturday, and then I had to go back to our old office on Sunday to pick up some furniture that we we throwing away (and I'm keeping at my house). And, then we were back at the new office at 8am on Monday. And, it wasn't just the hours - during that time, we packed boxes, lifted things, walked the office floors with the movers over and over and over and over again. I am beyond exhausted - even days later.

But things are settling now. R is doing well with kindergarten. He absolutely LOVED it the first two days, but then he wasn't as thrilled with the afterschool program that he goes to three days a week. That clouded his view of school in general, although overall he really likes his teacher, he's making friends, and he told me that he's learning more than he ever learned at his preschool/pre-K class. The details about what he's learning aren't very forthcoming, however. His favorite parts of school are recess (what a surprise) and gym class. :-) This week he's more at peace with the afterschool program. At first he said that some of the older kids were mean, then he said he didn't like the inside/classroom part of the program, then he said that he didn't like it because he didn't know all the kids. But I think he's making more friends there now, and this morning he told A and me that afterschool was his favorite part of school. So I'm very pleased.

R's teacher is wonderful. She sends home notes every day, keeps us all informed with TONS of flyers and letters about what's going on at the school, the classroom, the PTO, etc. Apparently, the other two kindergarten teachers don't really do this. I'm so happy that R has the communicative teacher! Last night, R and I worked on a sheet of "Things to Write About" so that his teacher can use the sheet to suggest topics that R might like to write about at school. She had different categories - family, favorite vacation, pets, things to do, etc. It was fun hearing R's suggestions. (For one of his favorite things to do, he said, "Jump on Daddy!")

I'm already noticing that R is reading more. He notices words and tells me the ones he recognizes. Cool!

And, he's been exhausted. We're making bedtime a little earlier these days (lights out at 8:30), and he's asleep within minutes, if not instantly. I heard about this phenomenon beforehand, but I was skeptical because R had already been going to preschool/pre-K from 8ish to 6 three days a week, so I didn't see what the big difference would be. But I think the exhaustion is more mental than physical, although he does get outside for two recesses during school, has gym class twice a week, and then his afterschool program lets the kids outside for at least an hour each day. Thank goodness because my boy needs to run, climb, etc. (He was so proud when he came home from school the second day because he figured out during recess how to do the monkey bars hand over hand. And, he climbed up on top of them and got himself down without help. He's been trying to do both of those for a long time.)

I'm beginning to see how, if I'm not super organized and careful, I might forget things or miss stuff. For example, tonight is the kindergarten potluck dinner, then R has to go for his flu shot, then tomorrow night is our town's Town Night (complete with rides and fireworks), then Saturday morning is soccer, then Town Day (booths and food and rides and library book sale), then swimming lessons. Plus, I think I have a few more things to fill out for school - book sale form, gift wrap fundraiser, RSVP for Curriculum Night next week, etc., etc. It's a good thing I have only one kiddo! I'm not sure how I could keep it all straight otherwise between all of this and my job.

So that's the scoop for now. Life is still good, just crazy. And I'm fantasizing about taking a really long nap.

He's growing up

2009-09-11T23:41:00.007-04:00

In my mind, the last couple of weeks have been about all these little moments of noticing how life is changing and how R is growing up.

On the way to and from the mall on Wednesday, R and I were listening to a radio station that was playing Beatles songs all day long (to celebrate the release of the remastered albums, plus Beatles Rock Band coming out). When Yellow Submarine came on, we sang the whole song together with the music cranked up and the car windows open. But I had to choke back tears because I kept remembering how A and I used to sing Yellow Submarine for R when he was a tiny baby. It was one of the ways we would keep R from crying in the car.

Yesterday, we went to the Brimfield Antiques Fair, where we met up with a friend and spent a great afternoon in the sunny, taste-of-fall weather browsing the wares and chatting with the vendors. At one tent, we found an old tin toy of a tiny wind-up train that goes around and around a little platform. The seller called out that he could "let it go" for $125. We just smiled and poked around at his other offerings. Meanwhile, R hung back at the tin train with the seller. I overheard this conversation and tried to stifle my laughter:

R: How much is it again?
Seller: I could do $90.
R: $90?!?!?! [long pause] Do you have any that are in a box?
Seller: No, but I have this horse toy in a box.
R: Well, I really like the train.
Seller: I could do $75.

My little boy was haggling!

Yesterday was also R's visiting "day" at kindergarten. It was half an hour for him to drop off his school supplies, meet his teacher, and tour the classroom while A and I toured the school. Even though R has seemed excited about starting school, I was pretty nervous because he's had a hard time separating from me recently. So, I explained to him ahead of time that he'd be with his teacher while A and I did something else for a little while. I showed him his teacher's picture that she sent and read him her letter. When we got to the school, he grabbed my hand and starting literally dragging his feet. But his teacher was fantastic - she remembered him from June (when we had a more general school visit), held out her hand to him, and got him quickly involved with an activity. R never looked back, and when we collected him after our tour, he was bouncing up and down with excitement. He told me all about his classroom (with way more detail than he ever gave me about his old school), what he did (decorated his name tag), and how nice his teacher is. Yay! What a relief. God definitely heard my prayers. (Which I had offered up at 5 am when I couldn't sleep from jitters and a racing heart.) It was also really nice to see some familiar faces - parents and kids - from the playdates I arranged over the summer. I think that helped all of us.

Today was our last pre-kindergarten "Mommy-R Day." We had a wonderful time just hanging out, watching Spongebob, going to the Museum of Science, baking cookies, drinking cocoa, and building a fort in the living room. But my favorite part of the day was early on when we we were snuggling on the couch, tickling each other, and giggling. R was giving me kisses and telling me how much he loves me. That will never get old! He's been super affectionate recently, but sometimes in a slightly more grown-up way - like when he throws him arm around me. This picture is from my sister's wedding last weekend:

R's independent spirit has been flourishing, and he's becoming quite outgoing. He's not afraid to ask questions or assert his opinion with other adults. Not in a rude way, but in a way that shows he wants to learn. I can't describe how happy that makes me, especially as someone who has issues with confidence and shyness herself! When we were in Pittsburgh for my sister's wedding, we took a river cruise that was sponsored by the science museum there. During the cruise, you could look at water samples under a microscope and use binoculars to look for ducks and other birds. R spent a long time talking to the museum staff about plankton, and then he spotted a girl about his age and plopped himself down next to her for the last part of the cruise. They chatted away happily while A and I watched from the other side of the boat. (I felt like I was fast-forwarding to the summer when R is 13.)

That's what I've been working on recently, though: forcing myself to watch from the sidelines. Letting R venture out a bit on his own, entertain himself a little more. He doesn't need me to be constantly an arm's length away anymore to catch him when he falls, to correct his behavior, or to speak for him. He's his own person, and a pretty nice one at that. Not to mention funny, silly, and smart. And sometimes a real pain in the butt and incredibly annoying. Oh yeah, and still in love with his mommy. :-)

Transitions and paradoxes

2009-08-14T21:09:00.002-04:00

You know how the longer you go without doing something, the harder it is to get back into it? Well, that's been my experience with blogging lately. Whenever I find a few minutes to write a post, I can't seem to focus on a good topic or there doesn't seem to be enough time to do a post justice. But, tonight, I figured I'd just write something quickly to get back into the swing of it.

My life lately has been wonderful and fun. A and R and I have been doing something new or special every weekend this summer (amusement parks, mini-golf, beaches), which has been great. And, with R riding a two-wheel bike, we've started taking little biking trips as a family. I love that! We've had a lot of visitors this summer, too - most recently my youngest sister - yay!

But at the same time, I'm going through a bit of an identity crisis. I think with R entering kindergarten in one month, I'm trying to figure out who I am since I'm not the mom of a needy preschooler anymore. And, I'm realizing that I haven't felt very good about myself in a long time. I feel frumpy and blah. So, I've been desperately watching What Not to Wear and reading fashion magazines, and I came to the conclusion that I needed a whole new wardrobe. :-) I never, never buy clothes for myself, so I think I'm due. But I also feel like part of it's just a way to grasp at something to occupy my thoughts and time. It's not going to fix everything that's going on inside me. But I am having fun shopping and learning a lot (apparently I've never worn the right size before - I didn't know what it was to wear clothes that fit me!). After five years of life that was basically about motherhood and work, I need to do some things for me. And, that's hard for me to accept because it seems selfish. I need to get past that.

So, that's the scoop. I'm having fun and freaking out at the same time.

Now, I have to go. What Not to Wear is on again. ;-)

A funny thing happened

2009-07-21T12:35:00.002-04:00

Some of you know how much I've been pining for another baby the last few years. To say that it's been on my mind a lot is a huge understatement. I could go into a whole series of posts about this issue, but I won't. Basically, I wanted another baby and A didn't. Well, he liked the idea of it, but the logistics didn't work out for him (i.e., he feels too old, our house is too small, it would be too much money, etc.). And, I prayed and prayed about it, and cried and cried and cried. For three years.

And, then something happened a few weeks ago. I realized that I love my life the way it is, that we've reached a point in R's life where we can do so much more as a family, and we're having so much fun. Life seems SO much easier.

When I prayed about another baby many, many times, I always asked God to either make it possible for us (i.e., change A's mind) or to take away the longing from me. Of course, I wanted the former. But I got the latter.

That makes me a little sad and a little mad at God, I admit. But at the same time, I know that He knows best. And, I'm secretly wondering if R is going to be a complete handful in a few years, where A and I will need to devote all our energy and selves to parenting him. Who knows? Maybe we couldn't have handled two kiddos. Maybe there's some reason we need to do a really good job raising this one child.

I'm sure the longing that's left me for now will come back from time to time. Over the past week, I've been sorting and washing and folding and bagging up all of R's baby and toddler clothes. They're taking up space in his closet for no reason. And, he wants to use his closet to make a fort. So, I'm giving away almost everything that I've been saving. It has been hard. I thought for sure I would be using all of these things again. But I saved a few of my favorite baby clothes and stashed them away in my hope chest. Maybe for a grandbaby one day?

But, yesterday, when I threw in the first load of baby clothes into the dryer, I had my first moment where I thought, "Wow, I'm glad I don't have to do this anymore." I started the dryer and walked away, only to stop at the bottom of the basement stairs because I heard a horrible noise. It sounded like a bag of rocks was flying around inside the dryer. I went back to check. Nope. Everything looked okay. I started the dryer up again and heard the same noise. Then I realized it was the sound of all those zillions of snaps on all the baby clothes hitting against the drum of the dryer.

I do not miss that awful sound, and I do not miss snapping those snaps.

I think I'm moving on.

Changes

2009-07-13T12:30:00.002-04:00

We've been so busy this summer, which is pretty unusual for us. But we're having a blast, seeing lots of friends, making little day trips, etc.

In the midst of all the activity, I've noticed a big change in R - one that had been promised to us for years, but we're finally just seeing it now.

Until this point, R has always been very mommy-centered. I was the only one who could comfort him when he was hurt or sad, the only one who could soothe his middle-of-the-night wakings and freak-outs. He only wanted me to read bedtime stories - if it was Daddy's turn, R would cry and beg that we switch. We went through a few phases where R actually told A to "Go away!" when I was around so he could have me to himself. If I was at work, R was fine, but if I was around, poor A was chopped liver.

This situation was really hard on both A and me. A tried not to be hurt by it, but he was, especially because he spends a lot of time with R - he's been the one who was home with R on days when R didn't go to school/daycare. A is a wonderful father, and the rejection hurt.

And, having all that neediness on me alone was no fun either. I love the close relationship that R and I have always had, but it can be exhausting, too.

People kept telling us it was going to switch, that R would start favoring A. Of course, we were told that would happen around age 2. Ha ha.

Well, it finally has started (at age 5). Not so much that R favors A, but that he prefers him for some activities AND he treasures his time alone with A now. I think it started when R's fascination with fishing began. But R and A also have their model rocket interest, plus wrestling and tree-climbing and doing traditional boy stuff. Not that I don't also do these things with them - and enjoy a lot of them - but I think R has figured out that these are primarily Daddy things. And, I think that's wonderful.

A few weeks ago, when we were on our way to visit my dad and take R fishing, we stopped at a convenience store. A was going to run in by himself really quick, but then R decided he wanted to go, too, so we all hopped out of the car. That's when I was informed by R that he wanted some private time with Daddy. That was the first time R ever said that, and I was floored. And relieved! So, I got to sit in the car and check my email and think about how much R is changing while my boys shopped.

When A and R came out of the store, R came to my door, opened it, and silently handed me a package of Reese's peanut butter cups (my favorite), while smiling sweetly. Then he climbed into his seat. After we were settled, A informed me that the peanut butter cups were completely R's idea. I nearly cried. Here, my little guy is spending more time with his dad and appreciating him more (yay!), but he's still thinking of me while he's doing it.

I couldn't ask for more.

Summer!

2009-07-07T23:26:00.006-04:00

From reading some of my favorite blogs, it seems like a lot of people are having a great summer - and so are we!

We've been really busy. For the last week, A's sister and her fiance have been visiting from CA. We get along great with them and have been having a lot of fun. Tonight, on our way to drop them at the airport, we took a few minutes to check out some of the Tall Ships that are in Boston for the next few days. We watched tug boats maneuvering one ship from Chad in, and another one from Russia. As we stood on the pier, one of the tugs came right up to us, and the captain yelled out and asked us if we were from one of the fishing towns on the North Shore of Massachusetts (which was weird because we had just visited one of the towns over the weekend). Then, a big, burly sailor came out on deck and said to R, "Someone told me that you like popsicles" and tossed up two popsicles to us. It was so nice! Then the captain came out and said that if security wasn't so strict because of the Tall Ships, he would let R come on board.

The skies opened up at that point, along with a lot of scary lightning, so we high-tailed it back to our car. We found out that A's sister's flight was delayed significantly, so we decided to have dinner at the nice restaurant right on the pier so we could keep watching the ships come in.

Over the weekend, we went to our friends' house for a huge 4th of July BBQ that was also the birthday party for their one-year-old twins. It was a gorgeous day - after weeks of rain and gloom. We saw so many friends that we haven't seen in ages. It was really nice. Then we headed into Cambridge to meet up with A's sister and her fiance. They were staying in a hotel very close to the Charles River, so we grabbed them and walked down to the river to listen to the Boston Pops concert and to watch the Boston fireworks. It was AMAZING. This was R's first Boston fireworks experience, and he was blown away. It was a little rough because the fireworks didn't start until 10:30, so he was up WAY past his bedtime, but he held out for the whole thing and didn't fall asleep until 12:30 am in the car on the way home.

It was so incredible being there with hundreds of thousands of people, singing patriotic songs (and Neil Diamond's "Sweet Caroline" - a tradition at Red Sox games), dancing, and then clapping and screaming and sighing over the fireworks. A and I had been to the "show" before, but we had always watched from the Boston side of the river. We discovered that the Cambridge side is the place to be -- not only did we get a perfect, clear view of the fireworks, but they were against the beautiful Boston skyline. I don't think I can ever watch them on TV again. It's just not the same.

On Sunday, we had no plans, so we headed up to Gloucester and spent the afternoon exploring the beach. R and I were in heaven - we found tons of little, tiny crabs and snails in all the tidepools. We looked for shells and sea glass. When we finally pried R away from the beach, we found a seaside shack that sold ice cream. We each got a cone and sat on the beach wall and watched the waves while the ice cream dripped all over us (well, mostly all over R). I've decided to add Gloucester to the list of towns we'd like to live in someday when we win the lottery. :-)

So far, despite the long stretches of wet, chilly weather, we've had a wonderful summer. I know it's going to go by fast, but at least we'll have made the best of it!

Weekend o' fun

2009-06-28T22:40:00.003-04:00

I am EXHAUSTED. Happy, but exhausted. Now, it's probably mostly because I stayed up all night on Thursday night to finish reading "Pride and Prejudice." Because I got to Darcy's declaration of love for Elizabeth, and how could I put it down then?!? :-) But, we also just had lots of big fun this weekend, which wiped me out.

On Friday night, we went to see one of our favorite ska bands. After work, we picked up subs at our local deli, met up with our friends and their babies, and had a picnic at the outdoor show. We danced a little, bounced the babies in time to the music, and watched R climb on railings and stairs and rocks.

Yesterday was our first truly nice day in a long time, so A mowed the forest that was our lawn while R and I cleaned out the car and went to the park so R could ride his bike. Our town turned on the water at our neighborhood spray park this week, and R enjoyed riding his bike through the puddles. Later, we ran errands. And then, R and I had mommy-son time while A met up with his ancient coin club buddies. Then I stayed up way too late hanging out with A and watching silly TV.

Today, we went to visit my dad. We took R around the corner from my dad's place to the Blackstone River, where we did a little fishing and had a lovely BBQ, courtesy of my dad. R was in his element - finding sticks, throwing rocks in the river, looking at bugs. He tired quickly of the actual fishing part, but that was okay.

After my dad's, we headed to our friend's house for another BBQ because some of our California friends were in town visiting. We had such a good time! The three five-year-old boys played great together, there was lots of good food and wine, and it was just so relaxing to sit around and catch up with everyone. We were really sad to go. But work and school awaits tomorrow.

Hope you all had a great weekend, too!