Monday, June 15, 2009

Calling

My devotional this morning was about knowing your calling. I had to laugh because, here I am nearly 37 years old, and I still have absolutely no clue what my calling is - in life, in my career, anything.

The devotional said that you'll know your calling by what makes you excited more than anything else, what interests you more.

I wish I knew what that was for me. There isn't really anything I can think of that makes me leap out of bed in the morning, that gets me all breathless and big-eyed from pure excitement when I talk about it. And, that makes me kind of sad. Because I used to be that way about some things. Now, I feel like a big blah about everything - except R, of course.

Recently, A suggested - and I agreed - that I should find a hobby. But I had the same dilemma. I cannot think of anything that I want to do enough that I'll keep at it. I love gardening, but I don't have enough time to devote to it to do a good job AND I get so discouraged by my yard because whenever I do get a burst of motivation, our soil is so saturated with roots from the trees and shrubs that I can barely get a shovel in more than an inch or two. Or, my plants get decimated by bugs.

I love baking, but I'm the one who ends up eating the results most of the time (A isn't big on sweets and we really try to limit R's sugar intake), and that doesn't quite fit into my recent drive to eat healthier.

I enjoy other things like canoeing and hiking, and we do those sometimes, but renting a canoe gets expensive and R gets restless and/or tired quickly.

Anyway, I didn't want to whine in this post. I'm just honestly stumped!

How did you discover your calling?

6 comments:

Kansas Bob said...

I think that the idea of calling is a seasonal one Kristen. When I was young it was a call to military service.. then a call to marriage.. a call to profession.. a call to fatherhood.. eventually a call to the pastorate.

I don't see any of those callings as more important than the other.. they are all a part of our calling to serve the Lord in some way.

heidi @ ggip said...

I wish I could help you. I think maybe our callings change? I have been involved with a couple social action campaigns. But being a mom to a special needs kid is definitely an acquired calling. I would have never gone out and chosen this though. I just didn't know I could do it!

sandwhichisthere said...

Sweetheart,
I don't know how to help. The only thing that I ever felt that way about was you and your sisters. As each of you came into my life, my heart raced and I felt that my life had a greater purpose. I think that I see that in you from what you write. You write very well. Perhaps that could be your calling. You have the gift of being able to express your thoughts and feelings in a way that others can easily understand and are moved by.
Sit down and write what you feel and what is important to you. Write for yourself, sharpen the words to create the symphony that English is capable of. Look over your work and then sharpen it again. It is a joy to play with the English language. Save your work and return to it at a later time. See how your thoughts change in the crucible of time. There could be a book calling to you or the spirit that created the Universe from itself could be calling to you through a book that would call to others.
I think of you as a lighthouse, standing tall and strong on a headland, your light shining out through the darkness and strife of life to give hope and guidance to others trapped in the miasma of life. Tall you are and strong you are and the purity of your light bathes us all in hope. Even your response to the call you here from the other bedroom shows us that you have purpose and a mission.
I know of a man that spent a large portion of his life caring for a severely disabled person in an institution. The man was a successful author and thinker. He put it all aside to care for this one human being. I think his name was Nouwen but I am not sure.
You can have a garden, just not a new garden. Instead of new plants, you have the trees. Care for them, prune them, fertilize them, take joy in watching them grow. The Lorax would. You have a calling that is already five years old. Care for it and nourish it and take joy in watching it grow. I watched you grow and I still have the joy and pride in my heart that you planted there,
daddy

Stef said...

I think there can be a lot of undue pressure surrounding "a calling." If you feel a bit blah about everything except R, why can't being a great mother be your calling? Or, you are an amazing writer and you regularly blog -- wouldn't that be your hobby?

You are pulled in a lot of different directions right now between work, home and family. If you feel like you want to take up another hobby, you'll know what and when.

xoxo

Suztash said...

Kristen,
I believe that our calling is what God has created us and gifted us to be...in any of life's situations. Our first, foremost, utmost calling is to know and love God in an intimacy that He has made possible through His Son, Jesus. Toby Mac has a song, I Was Made To Love You. I'm going to search for the lyrics...or you can... In scripture, Psalm 139, Philippians 3:10, Rev.3:20, throughout the entire Bible, actually, God is calling us to intimacy...to a restored relationship of love and knowledge of Him. Other callings, dictated by our life's circumstances, our desires and natural inclinations and talents, vary throughout our life. Your own natural, God given abilities and gifts help to define your "calling". Hobbies are not necessarily callings...just interests and something you enjoy doing or creating. However, hobbies can also turn into callings if they are then used to bless the lives of others. Do what you love to do, what uses your talents and abilities, and let the activity bless you and others. Whatever we do, we are to do it as unto the Lord. Maybe that's when it becomes a calling. I just want to say that God creates each of us as individuals for His pleasure. He delights in each of us and relishes in His intended finished product. So, if we give all we are to Him, He will make sure that we are becoming and doing what He intended and will be discovering our highest potential.
You are realizing your calling in being the lovely, loving, giving, thoughtful, kind, funny, and beautiful spirit that God has created you to be. Relax, rest in Him and have confidence that He will help you realize all that He has made you to be. Love, Mom

LEstes65 said...

I started asking God to show me my calling. And at the ripe old age of 40-something, I think I've found it. But it took a while for me to recognize what it was he was showing me. I kept waiting for something that matched what everyone seems to think my calling should involve (ie - my singing or speaking, etc). And it actually involves using my less noticed gifts.

Also, know that you've already tapped in to some of your calling. You are one of the most faithful, loyal and supportive friends I've ever known. You have supported me through happy and hell. That's a true gift from God. And I'm glad he sent you!