We've been so busy this summer, which is pretty unusual for us. But we're having a blast, seeing lots of friends, making little day trips, etc.
In the midst of all the activity, I've noticed a big change in R - one that had been promised to us for years, but we're finally just seeing it now.
Until this point, R has always been very mommy-centered. I was the only one who could comfort him when he was hurt or sad, the only one who could soothe his middle-of-the-night wakings and freak-outs. He only wanted me to read bedtime stories - if it was Daddy's turn, R would cry and beg that we switch. We went through a few phases where R actually told A to "Go away!" when I was around so he could have me to himself. If I was at work, R was fine, but if I was around, poor A was chopped liver.
This situation was really hard on both A and me. A tried not to be hurt by it, but he was, especially because he spends a lot of time with R - he's been the one who was home with R on days when R didn't go to school/daycare. A is a wonderful father, and the rejection hurt.
And, having all that neediness on me alone was no fun either. I love the close relationship that R and I have always had, but it can be exhausting, too.
People kept telling us it was going to switch, that R would start favoring A. Of course, we were told that would happen around age 2. Ha ha.
Well, it finally has started (at age 5). Not so much that R favors A, but that he prefers him for some activities AND he treasures his time alone with A now. I think it started when R's fascination with fishing began. But R and A also have their model rocket interest, plus wrestling and tree-climbing and doing traditional boy stuff. Not that I don't also do these things with them - and enjoy a lot of them - but I think R has figured out that these are primarily Daddy things. And, I think that's wonderful.
A few weeks ago, when we were on our way to visit my dad and take R fishing, we stopped at a convenience store. A was going to run in by himself really quick, but then R decided he wanted to go, too, so we all hopped out of the car. That's when I was informed by R that he wanted some private time with Daddy. That was the first time R ever said that, and I was floored. And relieved! So, I got to sit in the car and check my email and think about how much R is changing while my boys shopped.
When A and R came out of the store, R came to my door, opened it, and silently handed me a package of Reese's peanut butter cups (my favorite), while smiling sweetly. Then he climbed into his seat. After we were settled, A informed me that the peanut butter cups were completely R's idea. I nearly cried. Here, my little guy is spending more time with his dad and appreciating him more (yay!), but he's still thinking of me while he's doing it.
I couldn't ask for more.