I still check on R almost every night before I turn in for bed. With the nights on the chilly side now and probably 10 days to go before we turn on the heat, R usually needs some blanket adjustments or additions. He moves around a lot in his sleep, and his room gets pretty cold. Sometimes I find his blanket on the floor and him curled up in the fetal position on his bed. I guide him back up to his pillow, lay his heavy blanket on him, and watch him visibly relax and snuggle into the warmth.
R knows I do this - because I tell him - but he almost never wakes up or remembers it the next day. Almost.
Last night was one of those rare nights where I walked in his room and heard him say softly, "Hi, Mommy." That was all. I covered him up, kissed his head, and wished him a good night.
It's amazing, the power of words and sound. That sweet, small voice and those simple words melted away all the stresses of the day, the ones I was going to agonize over before falling asleep. In that sleepy voice was pure love and trust and peace. It washed over me and set my mind at ease. It reminded me that no matter what ridiculous stuff happens in life beyond our home, above all, I'm a mom and I am loved.
I don't know when I'll stop checking on R at night. I'm betting in a few years he won't want me to do it or he'll be really annoyed that I do.
But for now, I'll keep checking. And listening for that small, sweet voice.