Ugh

I've been feeling kind of blah this week, and I don't have much to write about (although, as you can see, that doesn't stop me). Plus, it's pouring rain and gray and cold outside right now, which I'm sure doesn't help my mood.

I did get all of R's party invitations out, and we already have our first RSVP. R is very excited, although it's hard for him to understand that he still has a month to go before the big party. But Grandma will be here in two weeks - woohoo! And his real birthday is less than three weeks away now.

This week, I've been having some crazy and vivid dreams. I hardly ever remember my dreams, so it's been strange for me. One night I dreamed that my friend who's pregnant with twins was actually pregnant with triplets. When she freaked out about it in my dream, I offered to take the third baby off of her hands. I'm definitely having trouble dealing with wanting another baby. :-(

Then, on Wednesday night, I had a very clear dream that I was going to be laid off at work sometime this year. When I woke up, I asked God for some reassurance, and what I heard in my head was "Be prepared." Honestly, if that happened, I would of course freak out, but the prospect is interesting to me, too, because maybe it would be an opportunity. I've been at my job for 8+ years, and I admit that I am frequently nervous because I've become a manager of people. I don't "do" the work really anymore, so I don't feel as necessary. I enjoy my job, but I miss doing the work because I'm actually good at that. I do okay as a manager, but I think that's mostly because I have good people who work for me. They make it easy. But, anyway, maybe I'm just freaking out, but all this stuff about recession in the news has made me nervous recently. I know that God will take care of me and my family, so I trust in that. In the meantime, I'm trying to sock away as much money as possible just in case. [Edited to add: I had this same fear/feeling/nightmare of being laid off a year ago, and yet I'm still at my company, so maybe it is just paranoia...]

Yesterday, A dropped off our car to be fixed and picked up our rental car, I mean tank. (Our car was side-swiped on the highway, and the person just drove off!) Apparently, the Hertz guy was waiting for A at the body shop when he got there - with a Hyundai Santa Fe SUV. They upgraded us, and since the Hertz place was 20 minutes away from the body shop, A didn't protest. The thing is HUGE to us. It's very luxurious, with wood trim and XM radio and GPS and lots of room. R LOVES it. He hasn't stopped talking about how much he likes it, how he likes it better than our car (which is only a year old!). He hasn't given us any grief about getting ready to go out because he is excited to ride in the car. But A and I actually want to wear dark glasses and disguises while we're driving. The thing is only getting 18.2 MPG and the whole SUV thing just goes against everything I believe in. There are only three of us, we don't haul big stuff around, and we don't live in the woods. We have no need for an SUV, and I absolutely hate driving something that feels so wasteful. Plus, I'm nervous about the GPS because our neighbor's windshield was smashed when someone stole his GPS - his car was in his own driveway! (I am, however, becoming attached to the XM radio because of the Christian stations. We only have one or two Christian stations up here in Boston, and they're mostly scary talk shows.) We have the stupid thing for at least two weeks because our car needs so much work. Boo. (And, note to drivers in the New England area: Pay attention! Please stop using our vehicle as target practice! Being rear-ended and/or side-swiped for the seventh time in four years is a bit much. Most of those times have been when A or I have been sitting at a red light or stop sign - no stopping fast or anything like that. Just sitting there waiting for the light to change, when WHAM! some inattentive person slams into us. I am very, very thankful that we've never been hurt - especially because R has been in the car every single time.)

Sorry for the crankiness! I'm going to go find some chocolate now.

(p.s. The purple chicken turned out fine. Well, it was pretty dry, but when we shredded it and doused it with some good BBQ sauce, it was delicious! Even R ate it!)