Tuesday, June 22, 2010

All Good Things...

Tomorrow is R's last day of kindergarten. He's very excited, mostly because he can't wait for summer camp. Every time R mentions that tomorrow is the last day, he looks at me, and asks, "Why are you sad, Mommy?"

I'm sad because I will miss R's teacher and her support and her patience with R and her appreciation of his talents and personality. We don't know yet if she'll still have a job in the fall, but I pray every day that she will.

I'm sad because several of R's close friends are moving away - to Sweden, to neighboring towns, to France. And, a few more of them are going to their home countries for almost the entire summer.

I'm sad because R and I won't have Thursdays off together this summer. (Camp is 5 days a week for 8 weeks, from 8:10 to 4:30 between the bus ride and actual camp time.) That means less time for going to the beach, the Museum of Science, the sprinkler park.

Mostly I'm sad that my little man is another year older.

We went to see Toy Story 3 on Father's Day, and there's a part in the movie where the mom goes into now grown-up Andy's room after he's packed everything up to head to college. His room is nearly empty, and he's leaving. And, it hit me that some day, R will pack up his things and go to college and probably never live with us again. (Unless the economy hasn't turned around by then...) And, I cried.

I'm proud of R and of all he has learned this year. He learned to read and to write full sentences. He became a whiz at math and strengthened his fascination with science. He developed a love for art - and gym class. He made tons of new friends of all ages, ethnicities, and cultures. He adapted to so many new experiences and was recognized for his deep empathy and for his kindness to his classmates. He had an amazing year.

Still, when R announced tonight that he had visited the first grade classrooms today, my heart broke a little. But it mended later when R told me that he never wants to go to college if it means he won't be able to live with me anymore.

Luckily, Harvard and MIT are only a short bus ride away. ;-)

8 comments:

another said...

Oh, it's so bittersweet isn't it? While my heart splits wide open with pride over my children's accomplishments, it breaks too. I'm rarely ready for the changes that come with them getting older...

We saw Toy Story 3 on Father's Day too. :) I sobbed as Andy introduced his toys to Bonnie. (and I'm tearing up again right now remembering it).

(((hugs to you!)))

Melissa said...

what the heck! My google log-in to leave a comment got all whacky there. :)

sandwhichisthere said...

Sweetheart,
there will always be times of happiness mixed with sadness. The poignacy of each of these moments will stay with you for life. They will flash into being when you least expect them.
I remember the first time you stepped on to a school bus. My little girl was going off to encounter all that life offers, the joys and disappointments that I could no longer share or prevent.
I also remember sitting in a movie theater watching the movie Hook. One of the lost boys asked Peter why he grew up. Peter answered "Because I wanted to be a Daddy.". I began crying and it took quite a while to stop. Grandma Eulo was sitting beside me and understood in her quiet gentle way,
daddy

Kristen said...

Melissa: Thank you! It was a bittersweet morning, but now on to a new adventure: camp. Once I get through the first day of sending him off to camp, I'm looking forward to fewer tears for a few weeks! :-) (And, I sobbed at the end of Toy Story, too - it was SUCH a good movie!)

Dad: Thank you - your comment made me cry, especially thinking about Grandma. How I miss her!

sandwhichisthere said...

Sweetheart,
the only remedy for a summer cold and sore throat is popsicles and plenty of them. Homemade frozen juice bars also work well. Be sure to purchase plenty of them as you and A will find them hard to resist during this weather. I hope that R feels better soon.
First day of summer camp and something goes wrong. Sound familiar? Farley was a disaster. I should have known from the name. Farley was the guy on the Newhart show whose job was selling veal door to door. The only answer was to hop in the car and go get the children. Girl Scout camp had the same remedy,
daddy

Kristen said...

Hi, Dad - He's feeling better this morning, although A is in rough shape now.

Luckily, though, camp doesn't start until Monday. Today looks like a visit to Drumlin Farm with a bunch of R's friends!

Kansas Bob said...

Sweet thoughts Kristen! I can see Harvard or MIT in his future.

Stef said...

Your heart is so big, K! I was so excited to read about R's accomplishments, but I knew that a line or more was coming about how you were sad. No matter how old he is, he will always be your little boy. And, he'll never get too old to want his mommy. (Trust me, I was asking for mine today.) I love you!