Friday, May 25, 2007

Tiny miracles

This morning, after a second night of uninterrupted sleep in my own bed (YAY!), I got up before A and R and headed downstairs. I did my devotions and then decided to go outside to check on my garden. Sue Monk Kidd's book God's Joyful Surprise, which I'm reading now, talks a lot about listening for God, coming to him quietly without a lot of demands, to truly hear his voice. I always feel closest to God when I'm outside, so I headed out to look and listen.

What I found was several tiny miracles: flowers of all shapes and sizes. It probably doesn't seem like a big deal, but if you had seen my yard when we bought our house four years ago, you'd understand. It was a wasteland. Yes, there were lots of bushes and trees, but that was it. Not one bit of color anywhere besides green and brown. Even the azalea and rhododenron didn't bloom. They were covered in bugs and looked sickly.

Now, the difference probably isn't that noticeable to someone passing by our yard because my plants and flowers are young and small. But, to me, it's a rebirth! There is life and color! There are birds and butterflies! And, it has changed my whole outlook on being in our yard.

(You'll notice an overabundance of purple and pink, but purple is R's favorite color, and I've always loved purple and yellow in the garden. Most of my yellow flowers are blooming a little later.)

These flowers mean so much to me because they represent what has happened within me as well. About a year and half ago, I was terribly depressed, bitter, lonely, and just plain lost. I asked God for help because I didn't know what else to do, and everything changed. It was like flipping a switch in my mind: all of a sudden, I was hopeful and felt empowered to make myself happy. I had the energy to try again. And since then, I've been seeing God's hand in so many areas of my life. Once I knew to look, I saw him everywhere.

So, like my yard, I've got a ways to go. My faith is relatively young and untested, but it's there - giving me hope and joy, changing my outlook on every part of my life. And full of little miracles.


Wanda said...

Beautiful thoughts....beautiful little flowers, delicate and tender like you sweet friend. You so good to get up early and have time with the Lord!!!
Love and Hugs for a good and safe weekend.

trace said...

your garden is beautiful and so is your story of your journey

trace (friend of matt)

LEstes65 said...

Your garden is gorgeous. I love that it is following your own rebirth. But let me tell you - from someone who has known you since...I think around 1996? Only something as gorgeous as the Lady Bird Johnson Wildflower Center could represent what you have been to your friends. I'm sorry you had to go through that dark spot. But I sure am glad I've known you - dark or bright.